Red Sonja (DVD)

Introduction

2008 promises to be the Summer of Arn, as two of his biggest titles, Total Recall and Terminator 2 come to UK Bluray. To add to the overload, Optimum are also re-releasing four of his memorable titles on DVD, Total Recall, Red Sonja, Raw Deal and Red Heat, both individually and in boxset form. All four titles have previously been released by Momentum, and their boxset is still available, but Optimum are offering something new with one of these titles, which may make the double or in the case of Total Recall, triple dip worthwhile.

Red Sonja was the first of the quartet to be released back in 1985, and ostensibly the most tenuous of the Arnold Schwarzenegger films presented here. Red Sonja was a vehicle for Brigitte Nielsen who made her debut within as a sword wielding, flame haired warrior maiden on a journey of vengeance. A character from the Conan comics, it would have been a wise idea for Arnold to reprise his role from the Conan movies here, but at the last minute his character was changed to mystery warrior Kalidor. Many still consider this the third film in the Conan trilogy. At this point, Arnold's career was on the verge of hitting the stratosphere, on the strength of Conan and The Terminator, and it's no surprise that marketing for the film focused more on him than on Nielsen. In fact the French title of the film is Kalidor, La Legende du Talisman, when in actuality, his presence in the film is more akin to his role as Handsome Stranger in Cactus Jack…



Sonja was a girl whose charms attracted the attention of Queen Gedren. When she refused her advances, Gedren ordered her family slaughtered and had her brutalised at the hands of her men. Sonja survived to swear vengeance, and a passing spirit gave her the strength and skill to enact that retribution. She spent the next few years training to be a master swordswoman. Meanwhile warrior priestesses prepared to destroy a mystical talisman, which itself had the power to destroy the world. Gedren interrupted the ritual, slew the priestesses and took the talisman. The sole survivor was Sonja's sister Varna, rescued by passing warrior Kalidor. Even though she was mortally wounded, she lived long enough to pass her mission on to Sonja. So Sonja sets out to destroy the talisman, and finally avenge herself on Gedren. Along the way she picks up a young prince and his retainer, sole survivors of a city destroyed by the talisman and Gedren, while she tries to avoid the assistance of Kalidor.

Picture

The 2.35:1 anamorphic transfer is clear and colourful, and with the limited damage to the film, it's obvious that this isn't a movie that gets a lot of play. The location filming is stupendous, as is the costume and set design, making the most of an imagined era of prehistory. There is the slightest evidence of moiré, and the image is a little soft and prone to a hint of ghosting, but otherwise it's certainly acceptable.

Sound

DD 2.0 English which recreates the original aural experience. The dialogue is clear, which is a good thing, as there are no subtitles on this disc. This is also probably the only Ennio Morricone soundtrack that I find repetitive, and annoying.

The lack of subtitles is unforgivable, rendering this practically a VHS tape albeit with a nice picture. The most basic selling point of the DVD format is the optional subtitle track, and as I have grown older, it's become clear to me how essential it is. With an aging population, and more and more neighbours intolerant of that DTS home cinema set up, you need them more than ever. If subtitles are a necessity for you, then look up the old Momentum release of this film, which has them, before it is deleted. Unfortunately, the previous UK release of Red Sonja was in boxset form only, it was never released individually until now.

Extras

Irritating, unskippable logos, and two theatrical trailers. The original Momentum disc had one trailer and gallery.

Conclusion

I used to love sword and sorcery movies; there was something about the hidden prehistoric age that ticked all the right boxes for a teenage boy looking for something to fill the gap between the sci-fi films. Conan was right up my street, or would have been if I weren't too young and had to make do with The Beastmaster instead. I also had a momentary infatuation with statuesque women, which meant that Red Sonja was briefly manna from heaven. But then I grew up, and it also transpired that Brigitte Nielsen was a couple of cornflakes shy of a breakfast. Red Sonja soon slipped from my consciousness, but looking back at it now, with around 20 years of nostalgia and fond memories to add a golden tinge, I can only ask myself, "Why the hell did you watch this crap?"



Red Sonja is less a film than it is a bad odour. The sort that you get in a kitchen when something is rotting, and you know you'll be spending ten minutes going through the fruit bowl to find it, only to stick your finger right into the putrid mess. It must have seemed like such a good idea at the time, cashing in on the Conan phenomenon and getting Arnie before his fees priced him out of the Euro-flick range. They didn't learn from Grace Jones in Conan the Destroyer, and this time set the film around a central female character. Except that Brigitte Nielsen couldn't act. You'd think that posing with a sword and reciting some lines would be enough for a film like this, but emoting does help, and it's something that even Arnold knew back then. He's easily the best thing in the film, with a couple of wry wisecracks and of course that amazing physique, but even he isn't enough to save it.

The story is simple, a mythical quest and a desire for vengeance, leading to swords clashing and limbs flying. Sonja is the woman wronged, distrustful of men and looking to avenge herself and her family on Gedren, the one who did her wrong. The glowing green MacGuffin supplies the magical element, and it serves its purpose in moving events forward, but little else. Kalidor is the wandering warrior who takes a shine to Sonja and decides to help, whether she wants it or not. He also manages to win her heart by the end of the film, making sure we wind up with the requisite happy ending. Prince Tarn, another failure in the acting stakes, and his loyal but world-weary retainer Falkon, who has a much better humorous presence, supply the comic relief. In a film like this, much rests on the shoulders of the villains, but Sandahl Bergman as Gedren goes a little too pantomime, and fails to develop the character, not that the story is big on character development. Notable is the presence of Ronald Lacey, who dies another gruesome death in this film, although at least his face doesn't melt.



Red Sonja is a forgettable film that will probably only interest Conan completists, although I think it will have as much impact in their collection as Robocop 3 has in mine. I had to get it because it goes with 1 & 2, but I'll be damned if I watch it more than once. Watch out for a Red Sonja remake in 2010.