Shaolin Soccer

Introduction

I'm hoping that the third time will be the charm. I've already sampled two Stephen Chow DVDs, and they have both left me underwhelmed, wondering just what all the fuss is about. The first was an older title, King of Beggars, which didn't do a lot for me. Then came Kung Fu Hustle, which made more of a splash as the highest grossing Hong Kong movie ever, garnering universal acclaim. I quite enjoyed it when it was broadcast on television, but catching up to it again on DVD, I thought it was wildly overrated, and not as funny as the hyperbole made it out to be. Now I cross my fingers and turn to the title that established Stephen Chow as a Hong Kong director to watch, Shaolin Soccer. It's another title that I watched a few years ago on television, and I remember enjoying it then, much in the same way I enjoyed Kung Fu Hustle. That doesn't bode well for this in depth analysis of the movie on DVD.


Hung and Fung were team mates, Fung a proud, skilled striker, who everyone looked up to, while Hung was unscrupulous and double dealing, which is how Fung got framed for match-fixing, and crippled by enraged fans. Now Hung owns the best team around, Team Evil, while Fung is his dogsbody, sticking around, hoping to get a coaching position, while Hung uses him contemptuously as a doormat. When the penny drops, Fung limps out, hoping for providence to offer him a hope. That hope appears in the form of hard up former monk Sing, also known as Mighty Steel Leg. He and his brothers were learning kung fu, but when their master died, they were left destitute, unskilled to work in the real world, and now they each have menial jobs, trying to make ends meet. But Sing has a dream, he wants to repackage kung fu for the modern world, and combining kung fu with football would be the ideal way. With Fung offering to coach him, it's time to reunite the brotherhood, and the Shaolin Soccer team is born. If they can succeed in winning the Supercup, then they will be rich, and kung fu will become a household activity. Amid all this, Sing finds the time to romance a street vendor named Mui, who uses Shaolin skills to make baked goods. But they haven't counted on Hung and Team Evil, who are determined to do whatever it takes to win, quite naturally including cheating.


There are two versions of Shaolin Soccer on this disc, the original Hong Kong Cut, and the utter mauling that is the Miramax US Theatrical version. In the old days of VHS, you could have taped something over that bit. You're stuck with it on this DVD, you can't even contemptuously scratch that bit of the disc out.

Picture

There's no seamless branching here, Miramax's digital altering of some of the imagery sees to that. You actually have two separate films, over three hours of video. Add to that another half hour or so in the extras, and we're coming close to the limits of the DVD format.


That said, the image isn't particularly compromised as a result. I only saw the Hong Kong version, but the image was clear throughout, the colours were consistent, and if there was a slight overall softness to the image, it wasn't to the detriment of the movie. There was a hint of print damage and grain, but all said, the viewing experience was pleasurable throughout. CGI is applied liberally to tell the story, although realism isn't the aim here. It looks fake at the best of times, cartoon physics are liberally applied, but the whole point is to get the gist of the story across, and be funny, and in that it succeeds.

Sound

The US version has DD 5.1 and DD 2.0 English, with no subtitles. The original Hong Kong Version has DD 5.1 and DD 2.0 Cantonese, with optional English subtitles, and never the twain shall meet. As I said, I stuck with the HK version, and the surround was fair, the action well represented, with the effects getting more and more strident as the kung fu got more and more intense. The movie also has a suitable theme tune, rousing the blood and getting you in the mood to see some wire fu action and bullet time.

Extras

Animated menus lead you off in the direction of the two versions, as well as a page devoted to extra features.

The Making Of lasts 21 minutes, and you can apply the 'does what it says on the tin' cliché to this featurette.

Special Effects Featurette lasts 8 minutes and offers you scenes before and after CGI has been painted on.

There are 3 minutes of goofs and goofing around in the Outtakes.

Finally Shaolin Soccer - The Moves, give you three mini animations to improve your soccer skills.

Conclusion

Ah, now I get it! Now I see what all the Stephen Chow hype was about. Shaolin Soccer is hilarious, it's inspired, it's utterly fantastic. It's pure entertainment, which hardly puts a foot wrong, and I was grinning like an idiot through its runtime, and laughing out loud more often than not. It's kung fu combined with a quintessential sports movie, sent up for comic effect, and the question has to be, why hasn't anyone done this before?


The thing about King of Beggars was that it was a rather mundane kung fu movie, with a veneer of comedy to it. Kung Fu Hustle on the other hand went all out for the spoofery, with plenty of knowing winks to the audience, as it referenced kung fu movies of the past, and threw a hefty dose of the Matrix into the mix for good measure. For me, it went too far down the road of parody, and became a rather clichéd and trite mess, a film you watch for clever moments, but one that didn't hang together all that well as a whole.


Shaolin Soccer has none of those issues, mainly because the premise is so original. As I said, it's amazing that no one has thought to combine kung fu and football before, as with twenty-twenty hindsight, it's a supremely close fit. Also, while the spoofery and parody are there, after all, it takes a sports movie trope and twists it to comic effect, it rarely allows the joke to become the direct focus of the film, instead making sure that the story is strong, and the characters remain central and honest. It's your classic good guys versus bad guys set up, with the underdogs battling adversity to succeed. It's Rocky but with kung fu and football.


As usual, I'm probably late to the party, crowing Shaolin Soccer's brilliance long after the bandwagon has departed. But if you haven't seen this, you simply must. You'll fall in love with the spectacle of it, the sheer novelty will keep a grin on your face for days afterward, but you'll also want to watch it again, charmed by its endearing characterisations and well-constructed story. Then you'll find yourself grinning again at sublime ideas like Bruce Lee as a goalie, and enchanted by its amiable idiocy, you'll find yourself wondering why football in real life can't be played like this. Ok, that's a dumb idea. But I do have a smart idea. Why hasn't anyone made Shaolin Soccer: The Console Game? It would be the coolest game since Speedball II.


I'll admit that Shaolin Soccer has taken its time to grow on me. I first encountered it years ago as a comic book in my local library, and it's fair to say that I found it dull and lifeless, lacking flair and character. It put me off watching the film that everyone was raving about until it was on television, but it's only this DVD release that has made me fall in love with it. If you're going to buy one Stephen Chow film, make it Shaolin Soccer, even with the superfluous Theatrical Cut that you will never ever watch.