Apocalypse of the Dead

Any film that uses the esteemed '…of the Dead' to identify itself must adhere to a certain set of rules laid down by the Godfather of Gore. They include a well-developed plot, authentic dialogue, decent acting, gore splattered visuals, a sharp subtext, downbeat humour, kinetic editing and an eye for the zombie mythology that fans hold dear to their rotting hearts. What does Apocalypse of the Dead contain that makes it any different from the horde of other zombie movies?


'Zilch', 'diddly squat', 'nothing', 'zero'. It's your bog-standard exploitative zombie-fest in the same shrivelled up vein as The Zombie Diaries, Flight of the Living Dead, House of the Dead, Resident Evil, Zombie Strippers and the rotting crowd of remake rip-offs like Dawn of the Dead (2004), Night of the Living Dead 3D (2006) and Day of the Dead (2008). I don't want to exhaust your sophisticated tastes by making this list any longer than it needs to be.  That wouldn't be fair. Then again, maybe I'm not being fair by being a pretentious, stuck up my own arse zombie snob. Don't let me taint your judgement. You might enjoy these movies for what they are. Like you might enjoy Apocalypse of the Dead for what it is: a thoughtless zombie feast with kick-ass visuals.


I on the other hand like my zombie movies with a bit of substance - like drinking a bottle of whiskey. If you drink that cheap imitation stuff, it aint gonna give you the same kick as the expensive s***. Whiskey should be smooth and make you feel woozy like a baseball bat to the head. Only a few zombie movies have achieved this baseball effect, they are the groundbreaking and downbeat Night of the Living Dead (1968), the vigorous and pleasurable Dawn of the Dead (1978), the bleak and hopeless Day of the Dead (1985) and the action orientated Land of the Dead (2005).


When you look at the big picture, one thing becomes clear: nobody does zombies like the Don of the Dead. Why settle for a pale imitation when you can experience the real deal? That's why my anger reaches boiling point when it comes to stylistic movies like Apocalypse of the Dead. They are inadequate, redundant and they have no meaning.  They have no mood beyond their visual sparkle. They have no passion - no personality. The characterisation is s***. The dialogue always comes across as wooden and they lack the most important ingredient to any self-respected zombie flick: subtext.




I'm afraid to explore the cogs and bolts of Apocalypse of the Dead because I'll develop a taste for the way it looks. I can't help it. Everybody likes a cheap bottle of whiskey now and again (even us pretentious zombie folk need it to appreciate the good s***). For one, it stars the legendary Ken Foree (who was in Romero's Dawn of the Dead). He plays Agent Mortimer Reyes, a zombie hunter of sorts who oozes with personality. Foree is a decent actor who knows how to convey emotion, keep us entertained and he has the eyes of a thespian (they always have something lurking behind them).


Fans of Foree will remember his performances in Nickelodeon's Kenan & Kel. He also appeared as one-off characters in LOADS of TV series including The A-Team, Knight Rider, Quantum Leap, Cheers, Babylon 5 and The X-Files. His movie credits include Leatherface: Texas Chainsaw Massacre III (1990), Black Santa's Revenge (2007) and Rob Zombie's The Haunted World of El Superbeasto (2009). Foree is the 'only' redeeming quality of Apocalypse of the Dead, without him the film would fall firmly on its arse. There is no denying the visuals are beautiful but visuals are NEVER enough. You can see why the filmmakers of this travesty decided to attach themselves to such a legendary actor. It gives them the quality they so desperately need.


Special Features: None.

Verdict: Apocalypse of the Dead is a prime example of a corpse wedged in its own grave. It looks good but it's redundant. When you can play zombie computer games like Left 4 Dead 2 what's the point of watching middle-of the-road zombie movies except to marvel at their Romeroeque visuals?



Evolution of the Dead - clever DVD cover art that distorts the quality of the film: