Review for Crooks In Cloisters

Now, there's no one who enjoys a good British comedy crime caper movie more than I; especially one with a poster / DVD cover as enticing as this one. So despite the fact that this one had completely passed me by since, I was really looking forward to watching it for the very first time. Because there are not many classic British comedies that you can have the pleasure of viewing for the first time left, as far as I am concerned. So 'hidden gems' like this are always welcome. Except for one thing. This is no gem.


It's perfectly passable of course. Just a gentle, low budget comedy that never aspired to be anything more, noodling its way through the duration and helping pass the time on a rainy British Sunday. But it's instantly forgettable, formulaic stuff that, despite a great cast, never really ignites and failing to raise a much in the way of laughs either.


An East-end villain, Little Walter (Ronald Fraser) and his young moll (Barbara Windsor) pull off a train robbery with his gang and, when things hot up with the police, abandon the comfort of their London pad for a spell in a deserted monastery off the coast of Cornwall where they disguise themselves as monks and start living the monastic life. Which,as far as capers go is 'so far so good'. But then it stalls pretty much for the remainder of the movie with nothing beyond the occasional distraction to make it bearable. Beehived Barbara Windsor is the only woman ('Brother Bikini') and fulfils her role with great gusto, along with a cast which includes Bernard Cribbins, Melvyn Hayes and Wilfred Brambell . But it's never quite enough to rescue the film from its under-developed narrative.


Before long, the lovable rogues are enjoying the monastic life with all its simple rural charms and when given the chance to go back to their old lives, with the spoils of their crime, they all elect to stay where they are.


The plot manages to squeeze in a couple of dramatic moments in the form of a half-baked romance between Mervyn Hayes and a local girl (daughter of a local boatsman played by Wilfred Brambell) and at one point we get a 'will he die' moment as he takes to bed. This sub-plot seems shoe-horned into the action and I remain unsure what it added, other than filling a few more moments of air-time.


The sexuality suggested in the movie's poster (Babs in a bubbling bath) is nevere really delivered on and, as is often the case in these movies, the obvious age difference between Windsor and Fraser is never mentioned. There's a residing air of innocence to the whole thing which was probably pretty standard for the day (1963).


Picture quality is good throughout - a very nice transfer actually. There are no extras so I suspect this is seen as a very marginal release by Studio Canal.


Fans of this era of British comedy will want to buy this out of a sense of curiosity and many may find it a perfectly acceptable addition to their library. But a classic it is most certainly not.