Review for The Hitman's Bodyguard

Introduction

The first time I saw Ryan Reynolds was in an episode of The X-Files, but that doesn’t count, as this was before he was Ryan Reynolds. The first time I noticed Ryan Reynolds was in Blade Trinity, a film which is only really notable for the memorable, if profane line, “bleep juggling thunder-bleep”. That was such an annoying character that I made a vow that I’d avoid this smug-faced, wise-cracking actor from then on. It’s something I managed to do for quite a few years, but the problem is that Ryan Reynolds is a nice guy. He wears you down with his incessant optimistic good-natured-ness, and brain-washes you into liking his irreverent humour, appreciating his gift of the gab. And so it is, a couple of decades after Blade Trinity and that fervent vow, that I find myself saying, “I think I’ll watch a Ryan Reynolds movie tonight” So I grabbed The Hitman’s Bodyguard off the to-watch pile, in the mood for one of those buddy action road movies.


Michael Bryce had the perfect life, a top rated bodyguard catering for the rich and the elite, living an immaculately groomed life with his perfect girlfriend. And then he lost a client to a sniper’s bullet. Two years later, he’s let himself go, and while he’s still providing top-notch service, it’s to lower rent clients. Then he gets a call from his ex. She works for Interpol, and she needs a client delivered to the International Criminal Court within a day to testify against a brutal dictator. The thing is that the witness is Darius Kincaid, a notorious hitman with the blood of hundreds on his hands. And Michael Bryce and Darius Kincaid have history.

The Disc

The Hitman’s Bodyguard gets a 2.40:1 widescreen 1080p transfer with the choice between Dolby Atmos and DTS-HD MA 5.1 Surround English, DTS-HD MA 2.0 Stereo English Audio Descriptive, with optional HOH English subtitles. A modern film gets a pristine transfer to Blu-ray. The image is clear and sharp, colours are consistent, although the film gets a somewhat subdued colour grading, kind of a pale orange and teal. Detail levels are good, and contrast is decent if not quite rich enough. And as per modern action movies, obvious CGI is obvious indeed. The audio is excellent, nice and immersive and really doing well with the action, and the film gets a really useful music soundtrack. And for once the dialogue is clear enough that I never had to skip back and turn the subtitles on.

Extras

You get one disc in a BD Amaray case which boots to an animated menu. There is also a digital code which is probably defunct at this point. On the disc, you’ll find the following extras...

Audio commentary with director Patrick Hughes
The Hitman’s Bodyguard: A Love Story (8:54)
Hitman vs. Bodyguard (4:22)
Dangerous Women (8:20)
Big Action in a Big World (7:52)
Outtakes (5:22)
Deleted Scenes x4 (4:43)
Extended Scenes x4 (3:03)
Alternate Scenes x2 (3:10)

Conclusion

The Hitman’s Bodyguard is fun. It’s a solid piece of entertainment, an enjoyable comedy action movie that holds the attention from beginning to end, has vivid characters, some well put together stunts and action sequences, and it kept a grin on my face for much of the runtime. But it is a live action cartoon. It wants to be a modern day Midnight Run, but it rarely escapes Looney Tunes territory. That isn’t necessarily a bad thing, if the characters are appealing enough, and here, the fractious relationship between Michael Bryce and Darius Kincaid is more than enough to carry the film.


It is a good thing that the protagonists are so appealing, as the antagonists are somewhat perfunctory, with Gary Oldman autopiloting his way through the film as an Eastern European dictator, delivering enough evil to make the audience hate him on sight. His minions on the other hand are somewhat faceless and serve merely as cannon fodder for the most part. The head of the minions is a suitably Teutonic Terminator who makes something of an impression, but after he exits the story, it seems a clone shows up at the villain’s side to be quickly dealt with once more.


The Hitman’s Bodyguard is all about the road-movie bromance however, a literal journey from Manchester of all places, to The Hague, and an emotional journey for out protagonists, from mutual loathing to affectionate annoyance and respect. Michael Bryce wrecked his relationship following his fall from grace, and he has something to learn about love if he is to mend bridges. Darius on the other hand knows all about love, and he’s agreed to testify in exchange for his wife Sonia’s release from a Dutch prison. Bryce is anal about planning every step of his life, while Darius is a “live in the moment” kind of guy, and naturally they have much to learn from each other, if they don’t kill each other first.


The film is paced energetically enough to allow you to ignore just how shallow the characters really are, and there is some fantastic contrivance to present in Michael Bryce a protection agent who never asks questions of who he is paid to protect, regardless of their nefarious businesses, and in Darius Kincaid a lethal assassin who only ever accepts contracts to kill evil people. It does put both of them on level pegging when it comes to ethics, and more importantly audience sympathy.


It is fun to watch these two annoy each other over the course of two hours, and you can take with a pinch of salt that they manage to walk away from most situations with little more than a scratch, while around them the bodycount spirals up with nameless deaths aplenty. It’s silly, it’s profane, and it’s popcorn entertainment. The only complaint I really have is just how stupid and unbelievable the CGI enhanced action can get at its most egregious.