Review of Cruel Intentions

Introduction

A retro-chic adaptation of `Les Liasons Dangeureuse` that feels more like a post-‘Scream’ teen version of Steven Frears’ fiendishly intelligent ‘Dangerous Liaisons`. The film convincingly sets the classic story of sexual deceit within a contemptible upper class morass of Manhattan high-flyers and spoilt rich kids. Ryan Phillipe, plays sleazy, charming young nymphomaniacal hunk Sebastian, whose only pleasure in life is the remote satisfaction he derives from f***ing every hussy he sees and humiliating them afterwards. His step-sister, the truly vile Kathryn (played with brass balls by Sarah Michelle Gellar), is even worse: a deceitful, manipulative strumpet coke-head, obsessed with destroying her ex-boyfriend via his new girlfriend, the naive, vacuous Cecile (a wonderfully hammy Selma Blair). Sebastian however, has the hots for the prissy young headmaster’s daughter, Annette (Reese Witherspoon) and sets about seducing the virginal vixen, and in return for her popped cherry, win a shag of a lifetime with Miss Gellar herself.

Video

High standard, glossy and well lit. Free of any major faults.

Audio

The sound quality too, impresses. With endless Indie-hits driving at full-throttle through the soundtrack.

Features

There’s an absurdly smug audio commentary from the principle crew, most notable for all the bizarre moments that needed to be cut to please the stringent American rating’s board (apparently the sight of Gellar snorting cocaine from a modified crucifix, is ‘X’-rated material). There are some pretty standard music videos with hardly great video quality, a short featurette of only minor interest and some deleted scenes (apparently too ‘viscious’ too make the final cut), not to mention the US theatrical trailer, appropriately propelled with eclectic pop-promos.

Conclusion

At times, this beat heavy, teeny-pop version of Choderlos De Laclos’ celebration of decadent Imperialist immorality is trashy and wonderfully wicked, veering close enough to camp to lick the ear of the most debauched of black comedies. However, ‘Cruel Intentions’ is too bogged down in teen movie clichés and insincere Hollywood gimmickry to truly have the courage of its sordid convictions. Instead of a bitter examination of the selfishness of relationships, we have a broad, cruel comedy, which often rears into truly regrettable slapstick and irritatingly imbecilic characters. The sentimentality that encroaches during the latter half of the 2nd act, also does the narrative no favours, the story now asking us to ignore the delightful perversity of the first half in favour of empathising with Phillipe’s now guilt-ridden narcissist, resulting in a bungled finale.

Phillipe and Gellar make relatively convincing pieces of slimy, manipulative garbage. Witherspoon and Blair are suitably downtrodden as their unaware victims. However, there’s something missing from the texture of this hollow remake, it feels like distilling the viscious ending and broadening the emotional palette has drained the life out of the story, watching the film, you can’t help but feel someone’s strangling it by the throat, not letting it breath. ‘Cruel Intentions’ is far more artificially pumped than Frears’ version, and comes off much colder as a result. And not, alas, in a good way.