Review of Erotic Witch Project, The

Introduction

WARNING! This title contains material that some people may find offensive, as it may be sexually explicit - Well when you’re sitting down to watch a movie like this you it had better be sexually explicit, let’s face it this isn’t about a gripping storyline or stunning acting :). It’s about naked women basically so as you can imagine I was rather looking forward to reviewing this one. I feel it is my duty to watch this at least half a dozen times, to do any less would be cheating you readers, honest :P

BIGGER WARNING! If you are of the female persuasion perhaps you should stop reading now. I don’t aim to offend but this is a review of a lesbian porno DVD so is bound to come across very one sided.

The Erotic Witch Project is a soft core Lesbo flick that parodies last years surprise hit The Blair Witch Project. Is it any good? Read on.

Video

As with The Blair Witch Project this movie consists of footage supposedly shot through a camcorder so picture quality was always going to be a tricky issue. Baring this in mind you get a surprisingly clear full frame image. I’ve seen better but I’ve also seen much worse so this will go down as an above average effort

Audio

Now I don’t know if I am the only one but I find the branding of Dolby Digital on DVD boxes most confusing and often misleading. The Dolby Digital logo is the only clue to the DVD’s soundtrack anywhere on the box. But is it stereo or pro-logic? Should I expect a stereo only track as it’s supposed to be camcorder footage? Well it’s actually a Pro-Logic transfer although the only real giveaway to this fact is the use of the centre speaker. There is sound coming from the rear but it’s so superficial that you really wouldn’t notice it at all.

What can I say about this soundtrack? Not allot, it’s pretty poor.

Features

One trailer containing mainly quotes from some decidedly dodgy sounding publications (anyone else heard of Mansplat Magazine?) along with some still photos from the film. Why did they even bother?

On a side note it`s worth mentioning that the Region 1 release comes with significantly more extras once again, sigh :(

Conclusion

Forget all the rubbish you’ve just read about picture quality, sound and extras. This is a porn movie. What matters in this film are the women and what they get up to. Forgive me for not knowing which of the women are which but to help me out the movie makers have gone for a blonde, a brunette and a dark haired woman. So in true Reservoir Dogs style we have Miss.Blonde, Miss.Brown and Miss.Black.

The film is basically broken down into a series of encounters. Miss.Blonde with Miss.Black, Miss.Brown with herself, Miss Brown and Miss Blonde and a fleeting glimpse of Miss.Blonde with Miss.Brown and Miss.Black. Make sense? Thought not :P With a slim running time of 76 minutes I suppose they couldn’t have fitted more in.

As a movie its complete crap. The women (Katie Keane, Darian Caine and Victoria Vega – nice stage names huh?) are appalling actresses and struggle to get their lines out correctly in parts. The filming is shoddily handled, for example in one scene a mysterious pair of hands appears to move something out of the way of the sex shot – they didn’t even edit that out.

As a soft core porn movie it’s not much better unfortunately. All 3 women are good looking although Miss.Blonde is a little rough around the edges. Their attempts at soft core sex are pretty weak to be honest. There’s no imagination used and most of the sex scenes involve lots of moaning for apparently little reason and with even less movement or action/interaction. Don’t get me wrong, I love a good porn movie and I will admit to being “overly interested” at certain parts of the movie but these few occasions aren’t enough for me to recommend this to anyone.

Now if DVD Reviewer would like to arrange to send me more filth I suppose I can see my way to reviewing some more . . . please :P