Review of Johnny Vegas: 18 Stone Of Idiot - Unseen And Uncut

Introduction

Reviewing can be a perilous pastime. Fail to pay attention and you could be in for a rough ride. Take the recent selection of discs available to review. A quick glance at the list, and prominent was the name of Johnny Vegas. I quite like Johnny Vegas, he`s the husky voiced Northern fellow who complains a lot, drinks Guinness and shares a jowl with George Lucas. He also used to have the occasional domestic with his monkey, but the less said about that the better. I put my name in the hat quite cheerfully, not paying attention to the rest of the disc title, the `18 Stone Of Idiot` bit. By the time I realised, it was too late. I had caught a few minutes of this show when it was on Channel 4, and had the dubious pleasure of watching David Soul relate an anecdote regarding an encounter with an aged Mexican prostitute, and the resulting bout of syphilis. I didn`t watch any more, and never expected to again. But this disc collects the `highlights` of the six episodes, and presents 78 minutes of such, along with a healthy selection of extras. And this time, I had to watch it. My eyes! My eyes!

The writing is on the wall early on, with Chris Evans as executive producer, and the show follows his Zoo TV format, a lot like his TFI Fridays, but with added obnoxiousness. Each show has a bit of stand-up from Vegas, a celebrity guest, a Johnny does requests section (one of which involves him looking for no strings gay sex in a London park), a d-list celeb humiliation moment, and a Jerry Springer type confrontational. There are the occasional special features as well. All of these have been gathered together in appropriate sections on this disc. There is also footage that never made it on screen.

Video

A very good 1.78:1 anamorphic transfer, as good as if not better than the TV broadcasts.

Audio

The same can be said for the DD 2.0 Stereo soundtrack, with the dialogue clear and subtitled throughout.

Features

Some quite good looking menus, matching the feel of the show.

The feature has a commentary provided by Johnny Vegas, Tony Pitts (a.k.a. Bad Budgie) and Gareth Collett, the series producer. It`s pretty incoherent, and often competes with what is occurring on screen for attention. From the first, when they announce the intention to create a show that no one in their right mind would re-commission, it makes it easier to understand what`s going on.

Celebrity Pub Lock-In
36 minutes of d-list celebrity inebriation.

Outtakes
There are 18 minutes of things that went wrong. Seriously, I thought the show was the outtake.

Angry Baboon.
What is it with Johnny Vegas and simians? In every show, he would get heckled while on the toilet by a muppet perched on the toilet roll dispenser. Here`s 6 minutes of it.

Celebrity Poker.
In one of his challenges, Johnny had to go and play poker with another bunch of d-listers. Here is the unexpurgated footage of that event, all 32 minutes of it.

Conclusion

The post-pub entertainment slot on Channel 4 has thrown up some real dross in the past few years, beginning with The Word. The idea that an audience will accept anything presented to them as long as they are in an alcoholic haze has rendered some choice moments in degradation and humiliation for audiences, guests and hosts alike. 18 Stone Of Idiot is the worst of the lot, utter, utter, unadulterated crap. Imagine the worst moments of The Word, when eager wannabes would come on screen, ready to debase themselves by snogging their grandmother, licking an armpit, or sucking the s***-stain from a pair of soiled y-fronts. 18 Stone Of Idiot is that moment, here stretched over 78 minutes and made even more unpalatable. There`s some swearing too, if that offends you. It`s car crash TV of the worst sort, the kind that is presented as some sort of postmodern irony, accusing the audience of being fools for not getting the joke when they complain. The thing is I sort of liked The Word, The Girlie Show, Passengers and TFI Fridays when they were on. They explored the freak show that is humanity in a way that other shows didn`t even attempt. These shows have been usurped in recent years by the Channel 5 documentary, shows that bring medical disorders, autopsies, pornography, bestiality, and other extremes of human behaviour to prime time television, without winking at the audience while doing it. Against this onslaught of tabloid television, the only way to compete is to push the envelope ever further. 18 Stone Of Idiot dispenses with any sort of intelligent content and settles for sheer shock value, culminating in the final episode when Johnny Vegas invited up an audience member to punch him in the face.

18 Stone Of Idiot is ample evidence that Johnny Vegas shouldn`t have his own show. He`s the perfect chat show guest, ideally suited to making Jonathan Ross uncomfortable on a chat show or at the comedy awards. He`s a great sort of comedy terrorist, a bellicose monkey wrench to throw in the works, a sidekick or a guest star. But up front, carrying a show he lacks the charisma to make it work. This is a stand up comic who actually heckles his own audience, whose alcohol-induced antics are supposed to pass for entertainment. If I want to see someone making a fool of themselves after closing time, there are plenty of places where people can be found lying in a stupor in a puddle of their own vomit. His challenges are just as nauseating, where he displays his skill and control over his own mucus, asks random strangers for sex in a park, tries to score drugs from passers by. I suppose you have to respect celebrities like Ray Winstone, Kathy Burke, Elvis Costello and David Soul for agreeing to be humiliated, and if Huey from The Fun Loving Criminals can remain composed when Vegas p***es himself, then he truly is the epitome of cool. Rhys Ifans actually looks as if he is enjoying the mayhem, appearing stoned himself and indulging in an arse comparison with Vegas.

This could all be one big joke on the television viewer, an attempt to see just what the British viewer will accept as entertainment. Perhaps in ten years time, scholars will look back at 18 Stone Of Idiot as a piece of anarchistic art. I just thought it was tripe. Maybe it`s a case of old fogeyism kicking in, but if not liking this show means that I`m an old fogey, then from now on, I`ll buy a walking stick, and start every review with `when I were a lad`. For those who are scatologically inclined, who may find this entertaining, you should know that the transfer is excellent and there are plenty of extras in the same vein as the programme.

If you are wondering why I didn`t give this show a big round zero, well there is always entertainment value in the public humiliation of the likes of Neil Hamilton and Jodie Marsh. And in between wanting to turn it off, I did laugh once or twice, but I felt really guilty about doing so.