Review of Manchester City: Bolts from the Blues

Introduction

Interactive DVD - two words guaranteed to turn the stomach of any one of our esteemed review staff here at Reviewer. It`s not the principal of things - even the best of us wouldn`t mind losing an evening to a top quality gaming product - it`s just that they`re such invariably rubbish, technically defective wastes of disc space that we fear our DVD players may implode just by opening the disc tray and threatening to load them up. In fact, the rumour is that David Beckett`s entire A/V kit jumped out the window and hasn`t been seen again after being forced to suffer through the TalkSPORT interactive quiz DVD.

But there was a time when the market on easy Christmas gifts for the indifferent Dad wasn`t tied up by badly authored quizzes. Once upon a time, the straight-off-the-supermarket-shelf-stocking-filler was the novelty Christmas DVD. Spearheaded by Jeremy Clarkson and his love for either driving or blowing up really fast cars - which, by the way Jeremy, is a lot more fun for you than the people who have to watch it - they`re a varied assortment of celebrity-endorsed clips, bloopers and general nonsense that only ever appear in time for turkey and mince pies. The slightly more palatable variety is the sports stuff, like the disc up for review today, and while hardly the pinnacle of money well spent, normally provide a little entertainment for the duration of Christmas Day afternoon, usually just before or after the Queen`s speech - and anything, ANYTHING is better than watching Jeremy Clarkson driving a shiny, open-topped sportscar, quiff billowing in the wind and waxing lyrical for the 10th year in a row. Except interactive DVD games.

`Manchester City - Bolts From The Blues` is (or at least claims to be) a compilation of 200 of the greatest goals from the club, from the 1960s through to the present day. It doesn`t get anymore complicated than that. There`s a target audience, and it isn`t hard to work out who it is.

Video

Presented in both 1.78:1 and a horizontally stretched to fit the wide frame 1.33:1, with both quality and aspect ratio depending on the era of the match in question. Sadly, the visuals are a little disappointing, with less than crystal clear material. While the more recent matches are, obviously, of a higher quality than games from the 60s and 70s and even up to the 90s, the newer footage is still susceptible to bleeding colours and macro-blocking. The only constants in quality are the blue graphics which pop up before each strike with the date and eventual score line, and again to herald a new category of goals.

Audio

Dolby Digital 2.0, of varying quality, but a generally low-fi audio track.

Features

Nothing.

Conclusion

In theory, this should go down a treat with Manchester City fans as it`s the only opportunity they`re ever going to get to see their team score goal after goal continuously for 90-minutes. A cheap shot, maybe, but it`s true. There is nothing more to this disc than an hour and a half of goal scoring. No presenters, no real context or information relating to the importance of the goals. There`s an occasional voice-over narrative that pops up and is delivered by a fella who brings back fond memories of Channel Four`s excellent early morning/late night sports magazine show `Transworld Sport`, but that`s your lot. The disc is divided into chapters, with goals plumped into categories - headers, longshots, goals with memorable celebrations, etc, although at the outset, the presentation begins with a rather random selection of goals from various eras, as opposed to starting back in the 60s - best guess is that this is an attempt to pander to the younger City fan who doesn`t want to boot up the disc and be presented with screeds of old timers in dodgy kits pelting goals into rickety nets on mud-strewn pitches in black and white of all horrible old crusty things.

Strangely, or perhaps not so, most, nearly all in fact, of the goals come from games that City either won or tied. Although there`s the occasional fantabulous strike from a game where City got creamed by the opposing team, it`s almost like a football club propaganda reel. Manchester City fans don`t need any reminders of how great their club is, and I`m sure they`re used to seeing their side get ploughed, but this reviewer will bet his gold fillings there are a few crackers missing from here just because the team got walloped for the rest of the game. Ho hum.

*WARNING! HEINOUS GENDER STEREOTYPING AHEAD* Worth buying for City mad Dad/Brother/Boyfriend? Sure. It`s a plausible, yet minor distraction for the City fan on Christmas Day. Heck, even the dirty-minded, footie hating Mum might get a laugh out of the commentators screaming Paul Dickov`s name at the top of their lungs. A little something for everyone in a Man City household, then.