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Armored (Blu-ray Details)

Unique ID Code: 0000129946
Added by: David Simpson
Added on: 30/5/2010 19:30
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    Review for Armored

    5 / 10

    I know there are those of you who have looked at the cast and thought, 'Well, this film has gotta be good!' I'm sure I probably did the same. I mean we have Leon's Jean Reno, Academy award nominees Matt Dillon and Lawrence Fishburne, so it's surely going to be a good film, right?
    Wrong! Oh dear no, how wrong could I be! Now, I should say that if you are choosing to ignore me then click BACK now as there is really no way I can review this film without revealing the entirety of the plot. Just click BACK and those who have either watched the film or want me to convince them not to can enjoy the ride into stupidity that this film takes us.
    OK?
    Right, now that those non-believers have gone, I have to say that at eighty-eight minutes I almost feel that the people making this film either didn't want to develop any of these characters or the story, or the script didn't do it and so they had nothing to work with. Essentially the plot is a group of security drivers who decide to steal their delivery of $42 million. That seems like a simple plot and you are probably guessing that they all get jealous and decide to kill each other off to get the money. No, not exactly.
    Ty (Columbus Short) is an ex-Iraq war veteran who has had to return home following the death of his parents to look after his brother. He is working for a security firm to pay for the house that the bank are threatening to take away and he is also trying to keep his brother out of foster care. His godfather Mike (Matt Dillon) sees Ty as his son and would do anything for him and so tells him the day before about the planned heist to steal the money from the van. Ty initially refuses, but then agrees under one condition 'no one gets hurt'. The rest of the crew go along with the heist as planned until they discover a homeless man has witnessed them stash the money from the first van and without question murder him. This is too much for Ty who freaks out and locks himself inside the second van that has not yet been unloaded of the cash. It is here that the film takes a very strange turn. And by strange, I mean stupid.
    The other members of the crew, including Mike decide that as the plan is all messed up, they will break open the door of the second van, kill Ty (Mike's godson remember) and say that he died saving them. So much for seeing him like a son, eh? Then of course a cop appears. The cop is injured, but somehow Ty manages to escape the van, save the cop's life and helps him into the van where the others are still trying to break in and kill him. Yes, instead of running away, maybe calling for help, being a witness, he simply goes out and then comes back in. Later he manages to break the floor of the van and decides again not to escape, but to climb to the top of the building to get a signal and make a distress call. Ok, that makes some sense, though he then goes back down into the van, where the others are still trying to break in and kill him. I understand that they are trying to make me think that Ty is an honorable man, doing what is right, but it still came across as a very stupid act.
    Only plus point of this film is its length. By the end of the eighty eight minutes, you feel that you have watched the stupidest bunch of people you have ever seen. I am unsure what the point of the film was and to be honest I hated it so much that I didn't care. In the end, Ty will still go back to see his brother taken into foster care and his house taken from him because of his low pay. Again, I understand what the film was trying to do in terms of good deeds and honour, but it came across and stupid and ill thought out.
    The extra features consist of three featurettes covering the stunts, the design and a general making of that don't really add much to relieve my anger of the film. The commentary is so banal, that you wonder at times if they are talking about the same film or if they are watching something else entirely.
    Armored is possibly the worst film I've seen in a long time. It saddens me that with a cast that is this impressive they couldn't come up with something better.

    Your Opinions and Comments

    Okay, this is a BIG spoiler so if you haven't seen the film look away now.


    When you say that Ty will only go home to see his brother put into care and lose the house anyway, you're forgetting about the final clichéd scene in which the sheriff tells the boss that Ty saved his life and he goes up to Ty saying something like "we'll have to talk about your reward".  It is obvious that his life is going to be okay from now on because of his good deed.
    posted by David Beckett on 31/5/2010 22:10