Please Teacher: The Complete Collection

Introduction

We're heading into taboo territory here, the sort of thing that has the Daily Mail up in arms. Fortunately, this is a Region 1 only release; only US audiences have been subject to its corrupting influence. It's a touchy subject though, teacher student romance. Believe it or not, there was a time when there weren't any hard and fast rules about the thing, beyond the legal implications. By the time I had started university, even relationships between lecturers and mature students were prohibited, to guard against any possibility of bias. We live in a society where we must 'protect the children', and in this case quite rightly so, and even if the age of consent has been passed, relationships between teachers and students are considered corrupting and abusive. But even here, our own weird societal conventions are telling. If we hear of a male teacher involved with a female student, our initial reaction is shock, anger, and outrage at an utter abuse of authority, and corruption of an innocent. But if it's a female teacher and a male student… you're smirking, aren't you?


Of course ethics, morals, right and wrong, all go out of the window when feelings come into it, especially teenage feelings. It's a rare school kid who doesn't develop a crush or two on a particularly charismatic teacher, and I'm sure the reverse does occur, albeit more rarely, and immediately stifled with the force of professionalism. The question becomes, how to explore those feelings without becoming prurient, exploitative and crass. Most people would shy away from the idea, unless it's one of those Channel 5 true-life stories with oodles of angst, melodrama, and moralising. But a romantic comedy? Only Japanese anime could attempt such a thing, and if you're going to break the rules, break them all, divorce it completely away from reality so that no one can get any weird ideas. He's an eighteen-year-old, trapped in a fifteen-year-old body, while she's an alien observer, sent from outer space to keep an eye on Earth's education system. Realistic it's not, and so the fun can begin.


Kei Kusanagi is the boy with a unique medical problem. He calls it 'standstill', a coma that results from depression and low feelings, and effectively switches him off from the world, shutting his body down. When he was younger, he had a standstill that lasted three years, and now, though he looks fifteen, and goes to high school with all the other fifteen year olds from his sleepy, rural town, the fact is that he's actually eighteen years old, a fact that he tries to keep secret. It's one night when he's resting on the bank by the lake, contemplating the nature of his life, that his world changes when an invisible UFO splashes down. He sees a sparkle of lights form into a red-haired woman, a strange enough sight that sends him fleeing through the woods… only to wake up the next morning at his desk at school. It's something he's about to dismiss as a dream, when a new Japanese language teacher arrives in his class, a very familiar looking red-haired woman. Mizuho Kazami has been sent by the Galaxy Federation to keep an eye on primitive Earth, to ensure that it develops normally. Only her first day doesn't go so well when her secret is revealed to Kei. Kei isn't immediately predisposed to telling everyone about the alien in their midst, and after talking it through, Mizuho and Kei come to an arrangement. But a UFO in the sky, a new teacher, spending time with Kei, talking secretly, intimately? People are beginning to draw scandalous conclusions. It turns out that the only way that Kei can deflect attention away from Mizuho is to marry her?!


The Please Teacher Complete Collection from Bandai Entertainment gathers all 13 episodes onto four discs, neatly presented in an m-lock case.

Volume 1: Hot For Teacher

1. Tell Me, Teacher
The previous night's UFO nightmare turns into harsh reality for Kei Kusanagi, when the red haired young woman in glasses who turns up as their new teacher turns out to be the pilot of the UFO. Mizuho Kazami is teaching modern Japanese, much to the delight of the classroom's male demographic. Kei isn't certain about what he's seeing though, and dismisses it from his mind. But at home in his uncle Minoru's surgery, he learns that Miss Kazami is moving in next door. Being ever so polite, he offers to help her move in, but suffers an episode of standstill that causes him to trip, spilling some of Miss Kazami's otherworldly possessions. The truth is out, and when Kei tries to escape, he crosses a dimensional bridge into her spaceship.

2. I Can't Get Married Anymore
Kei and Mizuho have some explaining to do, especially after the previous night's UFO antics lit up the sleepy town. Meanwhile Kei's uncle thinks that he's getting some extra-curricular action, causing his eyebrows to waggle, and his wife Konoha to inflict some pain before his insinuations gets too perverse. Mizuho's spaceship computer Marie is still malfunctioning, and while she transports Kei into the sports locker for a little one-to-one chat about discretion and keeping her secret, she can't transport them out, leaving them locked in. As the hours pass, and Kei's friends keep asking after him, his uncle covers for the pair, before he can go look for them himself. It's too late though, the school principal discovers the two together after dark in a locker room, and assumes the worst. It could be the shortest teaching job in history, when Minoru rescues them in the worst possible way. He tells the principal that the two young lovebirds are married.


3. This Isn't Right Teacher
The truth about Kei's age revealed, the headmaster can accept that the two are married, but he insists that to avoid scandal, the two remain utterly professional in their student teacher relationship on school grounds. Meanwhile, Mizuho and Kei have to quickly rubberstamp a wedding certificate before anyone can check. Uncle Minoru's going the whole hog, moving Kei's belongings into Mizuho's apartment and even arranging a proper ceremony. But Kei's friends come looking for him at the worst possible time.

4. Actually, I Think I Love You
Wedded bliss isn't all that it's cracked up to be, especially when Mizuho insists on maintaining the teacher student relationship at home as well as at school. The last thing that Kei wants to do is work on his grade average on a Sunday, so he tells Mizuho that he's going out with his friends instead to the cinema. Except his friends are being sneaky. They know that Koishi has a crush on Kei, and decide to set the two up on a date, calling to make their excuses when the two are waiting for them at the train station. Meanwhile Mizuho's getting suspicious and decides to follow the two.


Volume 2: Meet The In-Laws

5. For That Teacher, I…
It's summer, it's the holidays, and how better to celebrate their honeymoon than to visit one of the Southern Islands, where no one knows who they are, or what their relationship is. Except that technology teacher Mr Yamada wants to test his new human powered gliderplane, and as a treat has invited all his students along, you know, Kei's friends. So much for relaxing on the beach, but at least Kei and Mizuho have their hotel to relax in, the same hotel where Kei's friends are staying… Keeping up the pretence is bad enough, but now Mizuho's alone in the honeymoon suite while Kei keeps his friends company during a drunken game of cards. Then all the hotel room key cards get mixed up.

6. Let's Begin After We Start
Two months of wedded bliss have passed, two months in which nothing much has happened in terms of progressing beyond the student teacher relationship. Kei resolves to make a bigger effort to be more forthright about his feelings, which is when Mizuho's mother Hatsuho arrives, along with Mizuho's baby sister Maho. Hatsuho's keen to inspect the newest member of her family, but Maho's not at all ready to give her sister away to a loser like Kei. Meanwhile two of Kei's friends, Hyosuke and Misumi are having a hard time dealing with what that key card mix up led to in the hotel that night.


7. Don't Cry, Teacher
Kei's having a harder time of it than ever before, his in-laws aren't letting up, with Maho still playing the part of the overprotective jealous sister, but now Hatsuho's seeing the memory of her dead husband in Kei and feels like snuggling up. Kei beats a hasty retreat only to run into Koishi. It gets worse when Mizuho sees Koishi with Kei and gets the wrong idea, and then Maho sees her sister crying as a result and decides to deal with Kei in her own explosive manner. It's enough to send a boy into standstill.

Volume 3: The Honeymoon's Over

8. Long Night
It's true, Kei and Mizuho have reached the petty annoyances phase of their relationship, and as summer ends and school starts a new term, they can't help rubbing each other the wrong way. It doesn't help that Koishi's torch for Kei is burning brighter than ever, while another of Kei's friends, Matagu is working up the courage to ask Mizuho out on a date. A little jealousy can be healthy for a relationship, but surely this is too much?


9. Let's End It Now
Was it just a dream, a fantasy? Kei and Mizuho's situation seems all the more fanciful when the real world makes its presence harshly felt. It's all awkward at school between Kei and Koishi, Mizuho realises that as a teacher, she has a duty of care to all her students, and when she overhears Koishi crying over Kei, she's more conflicted than ever. But it's when Koishi's best friend Ichigo confronts Kei over the way he has treated her that Kei realises what he has to do, especially when he learns the secret that Ichigo has been hiding all this time.

10. But…
Kei's moved back to his uncle's place, and he's dating Koishi. Mizuho says she understands, but the polite fiction is about to become unravelled. First Koishi thinks that Kei is still seeing someone else, but when she learns exactly why he's dating her, it's even worse. Kei tries to patch it up with her, but then Mizuho sees them and the secret that they've been keeping comes out when she bursts into tears. Kei is torn, unable to understand just what he can do, what he should do, or even what he wants. The stress is too much.


Volume 4: Hello Again

11. Teacher
With Kei trapped in Standstill, Mizuho is at a loss at how to help him, and while the rest of his friends are concerned at their absence from school, only Koishi and Ichigo realise the truth. As it becomes clear that Kei is trapped in his own memories, Mizuho realises that the only way that she can help him is by breaking all the rules.

12. Teacher Once Again
A year has passed, and it's like Mizuho was never there, quite literally so. As punishment for her transgressions, the memories of all those who she interacted with have been erased, and she's been assigned to headquarters. It's almost the end of another summer, and even though Kei feels something missing from his life, he keeps on moving forward. Then one day a new teacher arrives in class. Mizuho starts teaching again (for the first time), but she's heartbroken when Kei doesn't remember her, doesn't even look at her.


13. Secret Couple
It's a sunny relaxing morning, a day off, and Kei is looking forward to spending it with Mizuho. Which is when the in-laws decide to pay a visit. Hatsuho and Maho have been paying close attention to how the wedded couple have been getting on, and they have some concerns. Or rather they would like a piece of Kei to themselves. First Maho tells Kei that she has surveillance records of him and Mizuho, and blackmails him to go on a date with her. She doesn't have long with him, when Hatsuho kidnaps Kei and drags him to a love hotel. Will Mizuho lose Kei to her own mother?

Picture

It's a US set, so the NTSC 4:3 transfer is a given, with all the benefits and drawbacks that implies when it comes to resolution, NTSC-PAL ghosting and so on. All in all it's a very pleasant transfer, with no sign of compression artefacts or significant aliasing, and the colours are bright and consistent.

The anime itself is delightful to look at. It isn't one of those action packed, bells and whistles shows; rather it's more of a gentle romantic character piece. The world design is excellent, and the character designs are strong and consistent. The animation isn't excessively dynamic, but neither does it need to be. What does impress is the sleepy rural agricultural setting for the show, and the almost dreamy atmosphere of summer that is conveyed. It's a show lush with greens and wide-open spaces, and it immediately invokes a sense of timeless nostalgia to watch it.

Sound

Bandai provide DD 2.0 Surround tracks in English and Japanese, and they offer a nice bit of immersion to the sound, although Please Teacher isn't exactly an action-oriented series. The ambience works quite well though. The theme tunes are pleasant and induce a degree of toe tapping while the incidental music is suitably mellow and evocative. It may be an older series, but the English dub is quite good, with the actors well suited to their characters, and carrying the emotional weight of the story well. I of course opted for the original language track, but it's nice to know that a decent English dub is there if you need it.

Extras

A mere four discs are practically wasted on an m-lock case, but it shows off the artwork to good effect. The discs come with animated menus with a teacher at a blackboard, jacket pictures, and an English Language credit scroll at the end of each disc.

Disc 1 has trailers for Arjuna, Tsukikage Ran, and Love Hina.

It also has the trailer for Please Teacher, a hefty one running to 8 minutes. The promo clip offers similar material, albeit for 6 minutes, and there are brief commercials, and the episode 1 preview. It's all topped off with a 26 image Design Gallery.

Disc 2 has trailers for Arjuna, Argentosoma, and .Hack//Sign

Music Clip 1 is the full end theme set to some images from the show, and lasts just under 5 minutes. There is a short version of the series trailer here, a couple of minutes in length. You get the textless opening, and the first textless ending, and finally a Design Gallery with 22 images.


Disc 3 has trailers for Banner Of The Stars, Geneshaft, and Argentosoma.

Music Clip 2 is another of the songs from the series set to animation from the show, and it lasts just over 7 minutes. The textless opening here has all the effects removed, which make it look like a shaky home video in the final opening sequence. You also get the textless closing (2nd version). It's all topped off with another Design Gallery with 27 images.

Disc 4 has trailers for Witch Hunter Robin, Junkers Come Here, and Spirit Of Wonder.

The Marie Love theatre offers just over 2 minutes of little computer love, Marie being the little avatar that controls Mizuho's spaceship. The Music Clip 3 lasts 7 minutes, and offers another incidental song. There are the preview and promo for Episode 13 here, as well as a Design Gallery containing 18 images.

Conclusion

Please Teacher is surprisingly good, in fact it exceeded my expectations. It's a title that I've been aware of for years having seen its various attributes debated on several forums, and have been sufficiently tantalised to eventually import it. However, with the show's set up of a high school student falling for his teacher, and having to hide the relationship, I was expecting something more on the lines of Love Hina, a fun comedy, heavy on the fan service, and pretty light on substance. I have a soft spot for Love Hina so it's not the sort of set up I discriminate against. Having seen Please Teacher, I can reliably inform you that the light sex comedy and fan service is indeed present and correct, but unexpectedly, so is a strong story, emotional depth and as honest an examination of the reality of the characters as possible, given the completely unreal set up.


Even in this unreal anime world, relationships between students and teachers are prohibited, so the first hurdle Kei and Mizuho face is avoiding censure by the headmaster. It's also an innocent (relatively) meeting for the pair, it's because they are trying to keep Mizuho's alien origins secret that they wind up skulking together, which raises the suspicions of the headmaster. That coupled with Kei's uncle Minoru completely getting the wrong end of the stick (dodgy transporter beam depositing the unwitting couple into his bath), pretty much means that the only way to hide Mizuho's secret is to admit to being a married couple, which is when Kei's Standstill comes into play. That's throwing the couple together accomplished; the falling in love bit follows thereafter.


Further ickiness is avoided by having Mizuho not much older than Kei. This is her first mission as an observer, and Kei winds up being her first love, so there's not much chance of her taking advantage of him. On the other hand we have Kei's standstill, the medical condition that puts him in suspended animation at moments of stress. It's why he's actually an eighteen year old, pretending to be fifteen so he can complete his schooling and be around people of the age he last remembers being. So in the end, we know it's acceptable for the two to be together, they obviously know its alright, so the comedy comes from the two hiding it from the community, and the panic that arises when it looks like someone might find out.


Please Teacher starts off very much as a comic fantasy, with the bizarre set up, awkwardness and crossed wires, and moments of inappropriate stumbling and unexpected fan service very much of the anime romantic comedy genre. But where this show differs from the usual suspects is that from the off, it wants to develop the relationship, as well as show it rather than just hint at it. It's certainly no Love Hina where the whole point of the show seems to be to keep the two love interests from getting close no matter what happens, and it's certainly faster paced than Ah My Goddess, where it takes two years just to confess ones feelings. The attraction between Kei and Mizuho is there from the beginning, and they certainly don't kick and scream at the notion of being married just to hide her alien origins. But, the school principal declares that even if they are married, they have to be discreet to avoid disrupting the other students. So the first half of the series is spent on developing their relationship whilst hiding it from everyone else. This usually amounts to them being interrupted before they get to their first real kiss.


That kiss does arrive though, and with it comes a change in tone for the show. The comic fantasy goes on the back burner as the reality of their situation becomes clear. For an alien observer who is supposed to keep a low profile, marrying one of the locals is not exactly following the rules. Meanwhile Kei has to face up to the real world when it becomes clear that Koishi, one of his friends, is actually attracted to him. When there is someone, of the real world, and close to his apparent age, who is attracted to him, then being married to an alien who's posing as their teacher appears just like the fantasy it actually is. It also turns out that the Standstill phenomenon isn't just a maguffin to get Kei past the age of consent, it's actually an integral part of the story, and the way that it impacts on the characters and informs their actions is a strong part of the drama. You'll have tears of laughter in your eye from the first half of the show, but as the story develops, that little bit of moisture welling up may have another cause.


Incidentally, Please Teacher is intended for an adult audience, so don't be surprised at the odd moment of sexuality in addition to the more mature themes. Kei and Mizuho's relationship does develop, although most of the sexual content (usually implied) comes courtesy of Kei's perverted uncle Minoru, and his long-suffering dominatrix of a wife Konoha. It isn't until episode thirteen that things get a little more explicit. Please Teacher had a twelve episode run in which it developed, and wrapped up the main story. But for loyal fans, a thirteenth, direct to video episode was created as a bonus, not subject to the stricter rules of broadcast television. It's here on the final disc, and it's where things get a lot raunchier for Please Teacher. The comedy is back in full intensity, there's not a lot of emotional heart-wrenching that can be accomplished in a solitary 20-minute episode, and playing it for laughs means a good deal of sexiness to the episode.


Please Teacher was a revelation for me. I was expecting the comedy, which was rich and delightful and got the laughs it deserved, but I wasn't expecting the strong emotional core to the story, and the utterly involving characters. These were people that invited me to care about them, and cheer on their progress through the pitfalls of love, life and high school. It's a show that I would definitely recommend. Incidentally, if Please Teacher satisfies you, then you should know that there is a spin-off series set in the same universe, but with different characters called Please Twins, again, Region 1 only.