Life Blood

I love the term 'lipstick lesbians' and according to the extensive research that I did (read: Wikipedia), there is no steadfast rule for dates as to where the term came from or who invented it although Ellen DeGeneres did say something about 'a Chapstick lesbian'. Anyhow, the phrase refers to the more glamorous lesbians who like to dress up in traditional feminine clothing, apply make-up and make themselves look 'pretty' as opposed to the gay women who appear overly 'butch' with short hair and masculine clothes.

Anyhow, enough about that and onto Life Blood, the third feature from writer/director Ron Carlson which is now pretty much everywhere as Pearblossom. The film begins in 1969 at a New Year's Eve party in LA where lovers Brooke and Rhea have very different ideas of what constitutes 'a good time'. What is going along as a fairly uncomfortable evening with neither woman particularly enjoy herself turns into something altogether more sinister when goes to the bathroom and interrupts Hollywood A-list actor Warren James who is just about to rape a young fan. She doesn't buy any of his excuses and, although the young lady tries to deny that anything improper was about to take place, Brooke takes matters into her own hands, takes one of the woman's hair sticks and plunges it into Warren's throat.

Telling Rhea they're leaving, Brooke drags her to the car where they drive like the proverbial bat out of hell into the desert. Unsure of what to do next, things become extremely weird when God appears to them and offers them a deal. God, of course, is an attractive woman who kisses Rhea as she lays out what has just happened and what their future will be. The deal is that they can both die here, now in the desert (with Brooke seemingly already in the next 'world') or they can 'work' for God as Angels of death, killing evil people in blood, with Rhea having a pure heart and Brooke as an impulsive murderess, Rhea will have to ultimately kill her friend. Oh yes, they are also vampires.

After spending four decades in cocoons, they emerge exactly 40 years later, on New Year's Eve 2009 with Brooke hungry for action and with a bloodlust that can only be seated by embarking on a killing spree. After killing a man at a truck stop, Brooke decides to call in at a convenience store which is open 24 hours a day and torment the slightly lovely, chubby counter jockey whilst Rhea does her best to temper her friend's behaviour.

Whilst all this is going on, the town's sheriff is trying his best to do no work at all but, when the number of calls get to the point where his assistants are almost begging him to get off the backside and go and do some work, he finally relents and heads off out into the desert to see what's going on.


Life Blood (aka Pearblossom, it is clearly made by a director who knows genre films as he has written a screenplay that doesn't take itself too seriously but does feature lesbians, murder and vampires. It helps that when God appears, the deity is played by Angela Lindvall in a dress that leaves almost nothing to the imagination, the two main leads played by women who are probably best known for their looks and singing talent rather than thespian ability (Sophie Monk, who plays Brooke, was a member of the Australian girl band Bardot and Scout Taylor-Compton's biggest claim to fame was as a member of Precious, a band that tried out for the U.K.'s Eurovision entry in 1999!) Perhaps the best casting choice was to secure the services of Charles Napier, an actor who will be familiar to just about any cult film fan because of his frequent appearances in Russ Meyer's films (as well as The Silence of the Lambs and Philadelphia) and he does a fairly good job of playing the Sheriff as he just has the perfect kind of face for a fairly lazy law enforcement official.

Life Blood is a marginal success as it is perfectly watchable without being particularly demanding or testing the grey cells. Monk and Taylor-Compton are perfectly fine in the lead roles and Sophie Monk has an extremely husky and sexy voice that you could listen to for a lot longer than about 80 minutes. It is adequately written and directed and it's the sort of film that you could put on one evening and watch without having to invest too much mental energy or emotion.


The Disc

The Picture
The anamorphic 1.85:1 picture is nice and sharp with good contrast levels and vibrant colours. For the opening section, the period design to recreate the look and feel of 1969 is pretty good with the décor and costumes helping to make it look authentic. When it gets to modern day, the costumes are revealing enough without being exploitative or slutty and everything is shot fairly well without being anything special.

The locations and sets are all pretty good, helping to keep the tone and feel of the film consistent.


The Sound
I started out watching with the Dolby Digital 5 1 option but switched to the DD 2.0 stereo as the surround track was badly mixed, using the rear surrounds far too much. The DD 2.0 stereo track is clear enough so you can hear the dialogue without any problems and, as there are very few scenes where the rear surrounds would be used, you're not really missing anything by not listening to the DD 5.1 track.

There aren't any subtitles to cater for the hard of hearing but I found the dialogue to be clear enough that I didn't need to turn on any subtitles to help me through indistinct dialogue which has been the case with some discs.

The score, by John D'Andrea, is reasonably effective at building tension and underscoring mood and the more horrific elements.


Final Thoughts
For a film that is marketed primarily as a horror film, Life Blood isn't particularly scary or features much content that would trouble those who don't tend to like the genre. There is a neck bite fairly early on when Brooke is trying to satisfy her craving for blood and the chopstick in the throat is fairly well done by the SFX make-up department but, aside from that, it is more of a suspenseful drama than an outright horror along the lines of The Exorcist, The Texas Chain Saw Massacre or Suspiria; it certainly won't give anyone sleepless nights.

The disc is a little disappointing as I would have liked to hear from Ron Carlson and principal cast members and, in terms of special features, all the disc contains is a selection of deleted/extended scenes and the trailer. Even so, the film is still worth a watch for those of you who don't mind the odd mediocre horror flick centres around attractive lesbian vampires!