Review for Blade of Kings

Introduction

The prospect of Donnie Yen and Jackie Chan in a film together had me requesting the check disc before my conscious brain could even override the instinct. It was only afterwards that I paused to question the unlikelihood of a film from either of these stars being released by a company other than Cine Asia, who appear to have a vested interest in releasing both Donnie Yen and Jackie Chan’s more recent works to the UK. It turns out there’s a reason why it’s Metrodome releasing Blade of Kings.


I have to admit that when the check disc arrived, and a quick glimpse revealed that it looked to be yet another period action drama, my enthusiasm began to wane, until I looked up Blade of Kings on IMDB, and realised that I have actually wanted to watch this film for the last eight years, and now I finally had my chance. In 2004, I reviewed The Twins Effect for this site, a contemporary vampire action movie made to showcase the talents of pop music starlets turned actresses Gillian Chung and Charlene Choi, the eponymous twins. It was a vampire kung fu movie designed to appeal to teen audiences and was a whole lot of fun. I think the intention was to start a Twins franchise, as the first film was followed up by Twins Effect 2, with many of the same actors, but set in a different universe, with different characters and a different story. Twins Effect 2 was a period action movie with a whole lot of fantasy to it, designed to appeal to younger audience, this movie in fact. Thank the US for that. They got Twins Effect and renamed it Vampire Effect, which made Twins Effect 2 pretty pointless as a title. They’re the ones who renamed it Blade of Kings, which is what you get here. And after 8 years, I finally get to see why there is no Twins Effect 3.


The land of the Amazons is near China, a nation where men are slaves, called ‘dumbbells’ and women rule the roost. It’s all because of the Empress, who hates men after a betrayal by the king. But there is a prophecy, that the last in the line of the previous dynasty will appear, find Excalibur and depose the Empress, restoring equality and freedom to the nation’s downtrodden males. To that end, the freedom fighter Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon is trying to find all elements of the prophecy, and track down the promised saviour, the Star of Rex. It’s during one of his ‘raids’ in the local marketplace that the Empress head guard Blue Bird, and slave trader 13th Master first butt heads, and get involved with tracking down the Star of Rex, although from different angles. 13th Master is trying to find the ideal male for a client, while Blue Bird is operating under orders from the Empress to find the threat to her rule. Their search makes them butt heads again when they encounter a band of street performers, and a likely candidate called Charcoal Head. Both posing as the freedom fighter Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon, they both use him to try and forestall the prophecy (and get a nice slave), but when affections start to develop, their respective perspectives change, while the real freedom fighter is still out there.

The Disc

The 1.85:1 anamorphic transfer does the job, bringing across the film with accuracy and clarity. The bright colours in the film come across well, as does the imaginative production design and costumes, as well as the utterly dreadful CGI. I really didn’t need to see the rubber band kung-fu that was on offer here. There’s a smidge of compression during misty scenes, but that’s about the only complaint regarding the transfer. Audio comes in simple DD 2.0 Stereo Cantonese form, which does get lively enough for the action sequences, thanks to a little prologic. The film’s music can be a little overbearing at times. The English subtitles are of the player forced variety and cannot be dispensed with. If you wish, there is apparently a Region A & B Blu-ray of this film available from the US (as well as a Region B German language Blu-ray) and you’ll find extra features there, but there are none on this disc.

Conclusion

So that’s why the Twins Effect franchise died. This film is god-awful! As the premise indicates, it’s a mish-mash of mythology, thrown together willy-nilly in the hope of somehow finding a story. That doesn’t work, and it comes across as 100 minutes of random stuff happening for random reasons, and with no character or plot development that I could register. The action could have been good, but it’s rendered comical by the application of egregious CGI, and the performances are lacking. This is Jaycee Chan’s (Jackie’s son) first film, pretty much as a lead character, and every time he’s on screen he kills the movie. Thankfully he improved later in his career, as this first effort is a lemon.


It’s a kid’s kung fu movie, with the emphasis on the goofy side of things. Ridiculous characters and bizarre plot developments abound, including a villainous plot to give all men breasts... Donnie Yen and Jackie Chan are in it, and the highlight of the movie is where they get an action sequence fighting each other. It’s great to look at, when they aren’t CGI replaced, but Jackie’s appearance is just a cameo, and Donnie Yen’s is little more than that. So if their names are what drew you to this film, you are in for a disappointment.


Can you believe that the synopsis I wrote for this film makes more sense than the film itself? Can you believe that I fell asleep four times watching this film, stretching what should have been a 100 minute torture to an almost three-hour torment? Can you believe that I’m going to recommend this film? One of those questions is a lie. The cast boasts some of the hottest Hong Kong talent, but they are all wasted on this film. I’m not exactly racing to upgrade this to the Blu-ray. Instead, I’m just going to watch the original Twins Effect again and try and erase this travesty from my memory.