Cell, The (UK)

The ingredients were quite simple, a kind of Dreamscape update with plenty of cash thrown at it. This should have been a tasty dish, but, sadly, it seems the chefs involved forgot to turn the oven on...

So what`s wrong with The Cell? (where to start!). I guess the main problem is the incredibly formulaic plotting and overly pompous script. These are both down to a lack of conviction from the director/producers. They`ve really not applied any character to the project and evidently let the studio call the shots, as is proven in the director`s commentaries on the DVD. He speaks of having to cut things out he wanted to keep and of altering the tone to suit simpler tastes (reading between the lines). Although he doesn`t hold back when describing another fault (bad acting) as he says Vaughn sounded stilted all the way through and was only natural when improvising (which was also cut!).

To be fair, it is visually impressive in places and some of the effects/locations are positively inspired. So if a few "trippy" sets and bizzare occurences are enough to keep you happy, then maybe The Cell will be right up your alley. I can`t think of any other way to justify its existence though because it fails on virtually every other level. It`s a by-numbers studio picture plain and simple...

Jennifer Lopez is typically un-impressive and this is another one-note performance from her. She is one of those actresses who keeps getting work based solely on her appearance. As people are prepared to pay for the privelege (the eye-candy syndrome), this cycle will perpetuate. I could ramble on all day about the laziness of this whole project, but why bother?.

Instead I`ll commend the quality of the disc, because it`s a solidly competent effort with ample additional features. Not ample enough to compensate for the duff film though...

This film was made purely to ring cash registers, so don`t give them the satisfaction.

A weird and wonderful film… once you take away the wonderful bit.

I didn't understand this film, which is pretty bad, but by the end I didn't want to understand it, which is worse. I really think this is where DVD extra features should shine, with a "What the hell did I just watch?!?!?" featurette… unfortunately, despite searching for some time, I could find no evidence of such an extra!

One to avoid.