Review of Avengers, The

Introduction

The Avengers is a bad movie. A very bad movie and Jerry Weintraub is a very bad man for making it. How bad is it? If Barry Sonnenfeld had made it with Will Smith, that would have been an improvement. We are talking 1999`s contender for the title of Worst Movie Of All Time. As someone who enjoyed the heyday of The Avengers, when Patrick Macnee was the personification of urbane and Diana Rigg kicked ass on a regular basis long before Girl Power spawned Buffy and the rest, I watch the movie with the horrified fascination of someone witnessing a disaster. I must be a masochist, because I do occasionally spin this disc, just to make sure it`s as awful as I thought it was.

Where do I start?

The buck always stops with the Producer, and Jerry Weintraub must have genuinely thought he was making a winner with this movie. He had a writer who knew all about the Avengers and had written a great treatment of a classic novel. He had Ralph Fiennes fresh from "The English Patient" and slinky Uma Thurman. He`d even got Sir Sean Connery down for the villain.

Unfortunately, great parts do not make a whole. The writer`s most notable previous credit previously was a drafting credit for Julian Temple`s "Absolute Beginners". His actual screenplay (and earlier drafts) for "The Avengers" show a great deal of imagination and an understanding of what made the original show tick. It`s just a pity that none of that ended up on the screen.

Okay, who to blame next - the director? Jeremiah S Chechik had made Sharon Stone`s "Diabolique" and Johnny Depp`s "Benny and Joon". He was also responsible for one of my comfort movies "National Lampoon`s Christmas Vacation", so he`s excused. In spite of his inexplicable choices in making the final edit of the movie which included excising everything that had been in the trailer and virtually every special effects shot involving the story`s McGuffin the Prospero Project. When you`ve finished here, try reading the IMDb entry for the movie, particularly the "Alternative Version" piece. You`ll also see that the movie was nominated in eight categories for a "Razzie" award for 1999.

The stars? Ralph Fiennes is one of our outstanding actors. He was memorable in "The English Patient" and "Schindler`s List". He was at RADA with Ken Branagh, luvvies, for gawd`s sakes. He still plays the epitome of avuncular charm (as portrayed by Patrick Macnee) as a peevish bank clerk in a bowler that`s too big. And he`s been voted most likely to succeed Pierce Brosnan as 007. Shudder.

Uma Thurman was captivating in "Baron Munchausen", mesmerising in "Pulp Fiction" and looks like she`s seriously kick butt in "Kill Bill", but as the heiress to Dame Diana Rigg`s title she makes a poor Mrs Peel. Those big blue eyes and that quirky tilt of the head she does are no substitute for that classy upper-class cheekiness that the original had. They needed a "gel" with attitude - somebody like Liz Hurley. Put one of those Chelsea birds up against a hero with charm (bowler and umbrella) and the combination would have been unstoppable rather than unmemorable.

Finally there`s the great Sir Sean. One of the greatest scene stealers on the planet, but there`s just one thing about him - he`s a HERO! He always has to be on the side of the goodies, because you just can`t buy him as a baddie. I was cheering HIM on at the end, not young Fiennes.

You see, that`s the terrible thing about this movie. It should have been a real winner. A genuine go-to-it producer, an excellent writer, a director with a light touch and a cast and crew that cannot be faulted - if they were making another movie. Making "The Avengers" they couldn`t have been more wrong.

Try running the movie and an episode of the last set of Diana Rigg stories from the original show. I`d recommend "Mission Improbable", and see which you turn off first.

Video

The DVD was mastered when the movie was released, so it`s spotless. The film is presented in its original 1.85:1 aspect ratio. Colours are vibrant, but the photography has a cold, empty look to it (possibly they couldn`t afford extras).

Audio

Dolby Digital 5.1 as standard. The soundtrack is lively as you would expect from a blockbuster like this.

Features

Nothing, apart from multilingual subtitles. I mean, Warners didn`t even try with this title. Mind you, I suspect if they`d included the theatrical and teaser trailers, everybody would have been asking where all those scenes had gone.

Conclusion

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh!!!!!!