Review of White Rush

Introduction

What would you do if you found a pound coin lying in the street? I personally would probably pocket it, feeling just a tad luckier that day. What if it was £50 sticking out of a cash machine? We`re getting into more ambiguous territory now. What if it were a million pounds, a million pounds in a suitcase and 6 million pounds worth of illegal narcotics? White Rush fails miserably in every respect to address this very quandary.

A group of friends are out camping when they hear some gunshots. The off duty policeman among them, Chick goes to investigate and finds the bodies of several drug dealers in the aftermath of a deal gone bad. The bodies haven`t had a chance to stop twitching when he takes the million dollars in cash and the high quantity of cocaine for himself and heads back to camp with a plan. But not everyone is dead, as one player, Brian has survived with a flesh wound to witness this cop turn bad. Arriving back at camp Chick convinces his friends to join him in keeping the money and selling the coke themselves. Well he convinces everyone except Eva, an ex junkie turned nurse who takes the opportunity to flee, leaving the other four in their machinations. Of course she runs into Brian who kidnaps her and persuades her to help him recover the coke before things get worse. Things get worse though, as the Columbians start to miss their narcotics and a major drug dealer despatches a beguiling assassin to retrieve their drugs. Meanwhile Chick, the dirty cop remember, is trying to make the drug deal with Santos, a local drug dealer who he plans to double cross to aid his career. I`m not making this up.

Video

The picture is 1.85:1 anamorphic. It is also bad, very bad. Low resolution and contrast, grain, artefacts like macro blocking and flecking, print damage, and blacks that tend towards grey are constant throughout. It`s like watching a US TV movie, on video.

Audio

The DD 5.1 surround track is initially promising, with some spatial separation, especially during the gunfight. But soon the deficiencies once again become apparent, outdoors scenes with looped dialogue that sound studio bound, and some unintelligible dialogue are the least of the problems. More telling are two dropouts, one at 13m 3s and the other at 1hr 17m 56s. These coupled with the dire picture had me reaching for my VHS remote before I remembered I was watching a DVD.

Features

Just the trailer. There are no subtitles at all.

Conclusion

Remember Judd Nelson? He was memorable as the middle class rebellious one in The Breakfast Club, all leather clad and moody, he was briefly the James Dean for the yuppie age. But in my opinion that wasn`t the apex of his career. For 10 years or so later the role of Jack Richmond, the editor of the magazine in the TV series Suddenly Susan, showed the brilliant comic side of the actor. But for every apex there has to be a nadir, and I present to you White Rush as evidence for the prosecution.

I must admit though that I sat down to watch the movie completely biased against it. You see I had the misfortune of watching the trailer first and knew completely what I was letting myself in for. Even still, it was worse than I could possibly conceive. The story is just laughable. You know what they say about an infinite number of monkeys recreating Shakespeare. Well this must be the result from just one monkey. Clichéd and mind numbing, with characters having to supply exposition, and behaving completely irrationally just to move the story along, it`s hard to describe just how bad it is without resorting to profanity.

The writing is perfection though, compared to the acting. Most of the unknown faces that have to carry the movie grimace their way through their emotions and spout their lines as if reading from an autocue. I get the feeling that Judd Nelson was the big name that the producers needed to give their movie cachet. The poor guy looks bemused through most of the script and completely out of place for the rest of it, despite his hugely comical beard. Other recognisable faces include Eddie Velez. You may know him better as Frankie Santana? No help? What if I remind you of the last season of the A-Team? It becomes clearer… A man single-handedly associated with the demise of many a teenager`s favourite TV programme appears as a drug dealer and if I say he`s the best thing in the film, that isn`t a ringing endorsement. Oh, and Chick`s boss is played by a man who had a guest role on Star Trek: Voyager as a Vulcan-Talaxian hybrid created in a transporter accident, and I`m giving you too much information aren`t I?

I haven`t even mentioned the Columbians with the worst accents in the history of cinema. To their credits, the writers try to spice things up by putting in a plot twist, but it is the most telegraphed twist ever and ends up making the film one big predictable plot hole. This is the kind of film that Channel 5 wouldn`t show… Weeelll, there is that moment of soft-focus bump-and grind-that would fit in perfectly in their schedules, though it`s thrown in almost as an afterthought. I urge you all to buy a copy for your worst enemy, but don`t bother watching it. And Judd Nelson, shame on you!