Review of Cellular

Introduction

I`m sure that you have seen the Orange ads; the ones where a luminary of modern cinema makes his way into a meeting to pitch an idea for a movie to a gaggle of telecommunications suits. Said executives would then go about shredding the idea and reinventing it so that the movie would be structured around their phones, completely obliterating the original vision. The most recent advert saw Sean Astin walking off in a huff after his idea of a movie set in New York got mutated into the fourth in the trilogy, Lord Of The Ringtones. The adverts are quite cute, a self-referential swipe at marketing executives and the curse of product placement. It`s not like it could really happen, now could it?

Apparently in 2004, a certain mobile phone company did indeed have an idea along these lines, and Cellular could easily be seen as a 90-minute advert for their product. I won`t bother mentioning the company`s name; they get more than enough exposure in the film as it is. I suppose the hope is that a semblance of a story will surface before the incessant product placement becomes tiresome.

It begins in the most innocuous of ways. Doting mother Jessica Martin walks her son Ricky to the bus for school, and after an expression of maternal affection returns home to begin her day. She`s barely inside the door when a group of armed men break in, shoot her housekeeper and abduct her. She`s taken to a remote house where she is locked up in an attic, until she divulges the location of a mysterious item of which she has no knowledge. Before the door is locked, the leader of the abductors shatters the phone in the attic. Jessica manages to piece together what`s left of the phone, and by randomly tapping wires together; she manages to call for help. The number that she calls belongs to the cellular phone of Ryan, a well-meaning young surfer dude whose only real problem in life is that his girlfriend Chloe has just broken up with him. It takes a little while before he is convinced that Jessica really is in dire straits, and then what follows is a desperate chase around LA as Ryan tries to help Jessica protect her family from the kidnappers. After an abortive attempt to talk to the police, he finds that he has to do it himself, as Jessica waits fearfully on the other end of the line. A dodgy signal and a low battery are the least of his problems now.

Video

With modern films and their subsequent transfer to DVD, it becomes more and more difficult to criticise the transfers. Cellular gets a nigh on flawless transfer from EiV. The image is clear and sharp throughout as befits a recent film. It`s left merely to look for minor nitpicks in order to have something worthwhile to say in this section. I noticed a minor compression artefact around 47 minutes from the end. I also noticed some moiré on some fine detail in one scene just after this point. It`s all hardly worth mentioning really.

Audio

You get a choice of DD 5.1, DD 2.0 and DTS English tracks for Cellular. The dialogue is clear and audible, and the surrounds are put to good use conveying the action and the music. Ironically in a film that manages to advertise the features of 3G over its runtime, Ryan`s ring tone is positively archaic, and up until that bloody frog was probably the most annoying ring tone on Earth.

Features

Cellular comes with some atmospherically animated menus with a mobile phone motif. The transitions were a little long though.

There are 5 deleted/alternate scenes from the film lasting for around 5 minutes in total. Presented anamorphically, and in DD 5.1 or DD2.0 sound, you can watch them with or without a director`s commentary.

The theatrical trailer is presented in letterbox format.

There are three featurettes on this disc, all presented anamorphically.

Celling Out is a 20-minute documentary on the wonder of the modern age that is the mobile phone. I couldn`t stand to see another prolonged advert all the way through.

Dialing Up Cellular is a 26-minute making of documentary. It`s your usual self-congratulatory piece of fluff. There are plenty of clips from the film, interviews with the cast and crew, with an emphasis on the stunts. Essentially they try to sell you the film after you have already paid out for the DVD.

Code Of Silence: Inside The Rampart Scandal is a 27-minute real life documentary. I shouldn`t really tell you what it is about, as it concerns what turns out to be a major plot point in the film, in a film that is light on plot. I can tell you that it is a worthy addition though.

Finally there is an audio commentary from Director David Ellis. In contradiction to the menu title, he is actually joined by his sister and daughter, who were stunt supervisor and producer on the film. The commentary has a neat premise in that during the session, they ring up various members of the cast and crew to get a little input on the film. The execution leaves a little to be desired though, as it turns out to be one of those run of the mill yak tracks that you have to make a concerted effort to pay attention to, and little of consequence is related.

There are moments in the commentary when they are speaking on the phone, that are slightly inaudible. It`s good then that all the extras, including the commentary are fully subtitled.

Conclusion

Product placement is a particular bugbear of mine. One reason that I couldn`t enjoy I, Robot last year was because of those damned trainers. I`ve also been one of the last holdouts against the mobile phone generation. All the phones in my house remain securely tethered to walls. So I started watching Cellular with the resolute expectation that I would be gnashing my teeth in short order. As is usually the way with these things, I wound up enjoying myself with a classic chase movie, once I managed to blank out the image of corporate logos assailing me from all sides. Cellular comes across as nothing less than a light-hearted version of 24. Instead of intense, moody Jack Bauer, we have happy go lucky Ryan, thrust into the most trying of circumstances, where his mobile phone is quite literally a lifeline. The film adopts a real time conceit in a similar vein, though it doesn`t stick as closely to the formula. The tension and excitement gets ramped up as we watch him race across the city, trying to accomplish seemingly impossible tasks while staying one step ahead of the bad guys.

It`s all a little hard to take seriously though, as it seems that through most of the movie, hero Ryan (played by the unfortunately named Chris Evans) is enjoying himself too much. The film is an excuse for plenty of stunts and action, all with a mobile phone clamped securely to one ear, and clichés are practically obligatory. One moment when driving manically through the streets, Ryan gets delayed by a learner driver, and instantly I was reminded of The Naked Gun. It`s fun to see Ryan beset by the dangers of a low battery, or a static filled signal. This sort of thing never happened to Mulder and Scully. The film is redeemed somewhat by a brilliant performance from Kim Basinger as Jessica, who for much of the film has to act to a dismembered phone. Her terror contributes much to the feeling of dread that permeates the film. In addition, the ever-dependable William H. Macy plays Mooney, a cop who in another one of those musty clichés is on the verge of retirement, but who can`t stay away from this case. As you would expect, Macy makes more of the part than there originally was, and you end up watching if for no other reason than to see his performance. Jason Statham is perfectly acceptable if a little non-descript as the bad guy.

Cellular is presented on a technically impressive disc from EiV, although the extras are a little hit and miss. It isn`t a film that will cause you to lose much sleep over the plot, but it fits the requirements of many a multiplex in summertime. It provides an exciting thrill ride for the patrons, is mercifully short, and brains can be left in neutral for the duration. I found it to be a load of hokum and silliness, and a great deal of fun. As long as you don`t expect too much, it will serve to pass the time.