Review for The Iron Maiden

Introduction

It’s been a few years since I last indulged in a bout of childhood nostalgia, which makes it high time for me to wallow in my past once more. Last time, it was Crooks in Cloisters, one of those films that was always on during afternoon matinees, and somehow always conspired to be on during the few days I took off school. I mentioned in my review that it was that and another film, The Iron Maiden which through sheer dint of repeats conspired to be the bane of my childhood. It’s been a good few decades since I last saw The Iron Maiden though, and while Crooks in Cloisters failed to age well, I have higher hopes for The Iron Maiden. After all, it’s about a traction engine, and boys love steam engines, especially when they become middle-aged boys.


Jack Hopkins is a first class aviation design engineer, but he’s not much of a company man. He should be taking the newest supersonic airliner for a test flight, but the head of the company finds him at a local fair, in competition with his steam-powered traction engine, The Iron Maiden. While he may have the savvy for cutting edge futuristic aviation, he’d much rather while away the hours with the transportation technology of ages past. This isn’t good as the time has come to sell the new airliner, and Paul Fisher, the head of a US airline that might be interested wants to see the designer with his plane. But when a car driven by Kathy Fisher, Paul’s daughter crashes into the Iron Maiden on a narrow country lane, that’s the kind of first impression that will see the contract going to the competition.

The Disc

Studiocanal gave Crooks in Cloisters quite the restoration, and this time they did the honours for The Iron Maiden on behalf of Network for their British Film Collection. It’s either the Eastman Colour film stock, or the fact that The Iron Maiden has seen a lot more play than the other film, but its 1.66:1 anamorphic (and pillarboxed) transfer is never more than adequate on this disc. Certainly the film is free of print damage and dirt, and is relatively stable and consistent during playback. But softness is a prevalent issue, as are the faded colours, with blues having come through the years with more strength than reds and greens. It’s watchable enough though. The audio is in DD 2.0 English mono form, and is clear throughout, the dialogue audible, with no glitches or dropouts. The music does take on a Carry On-esque feel; unsurprising given that this is a Peter Rogers production, directed by Gerald Thomas, and with music from Eric Rogers. Unfortunately subtitles are absent.

Extras

The disc autoplays a trailer for The British Film Collection from Network, while on the disc you’ll also find the UK and Italian trailers for the film, some Australian trailer inserts, the Alternative Main Title Sequence that played in the US (sans audio), and a fairly extensive image gallery slideshow. There are also a couple of pdf files on the disc featuring the film’s flyer, and the credits and synopsis.

Conclusion

When I first saw this film, I was in infant school and it was a teenager. Now it’s over fifty years old. That’s one aspect of nostalgia that doesn’t bear much thinking about. Fortunately my mind was pleasantly diverted for 90 minutes by a film that hasn’t aged a day. It still entertains me now as much as it ever did, a warm, charming, and gentle comedy, perfect for the matinee TV slot. The humour still works and none of the period details or attitudes stick out awkwardly to this era’s more cosmopolitan and politically correct audiences.


There is that ‘boy’s love steam engines’ aspect to the film that does appeal to me personally, as well as the more cutting edge technology of aircraft design. This was in the early sixties, back when the UK was punching above its weight when it came to jet airline travel. This was the nation that had introduced the world’s first jetliner in the Comet (and tragically introduced the world to metal fatigue), and Concorde was on the drawing board. It’s no surprise then that the ‘cutting edge’ passenger plane that Hopkins designs is a supersonic one (with a bomber standing in for the flight sequences). But as well as looking forward, the film also looks back to the golden age of steam, and it does so with a nostalgia and reverence all its own. Jack Hopkins loves steam traction engines, and he competes with his Iron Maiden in various events. So you get to see a lot of these much loved feats of engineering from the 19th and early 20th centuries, with emphasis on the Iron Maiden, and their rivals; Dreadnaught. These big, lumbering road locomotives invoke plenty of fascination, and it’s no surprise that The Iron Maiden is probably the biggest star in the film. This film has me half convinced that I used to see traction engines around when I was growing up, although that would have been unlikely in the seventies, and probably impossible in the eighties.


The star is just the maguffin though, as The Iron Maiden is really a romantic comedy, centring on single minded engineer Jack Hopkins and business heiress Kathy Fisher. It’s the usual opposites attract set-up to these films, with the two hating each other at first sight, literally clashing when the Fishers’ Cadillac runs into the Iron Maiden. They assume he’s a yokel, when he’s actually the designer of the plane that they are interested in buying, and the friction only intensifies as Hopkins tries to smooth over the trouble, making it worse with each attempt. There’s plenty of gentle culture clash comedy too, with the Anglophile American family finding that Middle England isn’t what they expected it to be, with a few English eyebrows raised at US attitudes.


Surprisingly given the Carry On filmmakers behind The Iron Maiden, and with a couple of Carry On stalwarts in the cast, the film never really goes beyond some trifling innuendo (Joan Sims and her long suffering husband), and a delightful partnership between the profane Admiral and the Vicar, Hopkins’ constant rivals at the Traction Engine meets. This film is generally family friendly, and tuned for broad audiences, obviously designed for global distribution.


There are aspects of the film that don’t quite work as well as I remember. It feels as if the romance between Jack and Kathy never really ignites (except for a John Wayne-esque spanking), and far more effective is the bromance that develops between Jack and her father, Paul Fisher. There’s also a bit of class comedy, with Sir Giles’ company competing with that of Lord Upshott for the plane contract. Lords apparently trump Sirs. But to this 21st Century commoner, they all look the same. And I always find the end to the film to be a little sad, which goes against one of its taglines, “The Comedy With a Happy END!”.


The Iron Maiden hit the right notes of nostalgia with me. It’s fun, it’s funny, and it has aged really quite well. It’s snappily paced, with likeable characters, and an engaging story. It is what an Ealing Comedy made by the Carry On team would look like. Besides, it’s got steam engines in. Boys love steam engines, and I’m still a boy at heart.