Review of Thunderbirds

Introduction

Thunderbirds Are Go.

Well, are they?

No. A lot of reviews say this movie stinks, and being a contrary sort of chap I wanted to say it was brilliant, but it isn`t. It`s not completely bad, in fact it`s one of those guilty-pleasure movies like The Avengers (okay, it`s that bad) I may find myself returning to just to shake my head in dismay at.

When Jonathan Frakes (better known as Picard`s Number One in Star Trek: Next Generation, director of Star Treks First Contact and Insurrection, and time-travel kids` adventure Clockstoppers) took on the helm of Working Title`s adaptation of the Gerry Anderson franchise for the big screen he soon realised he was in about as much trouble as a British director taking on the Trek franchise. Both projects benefitted/suffered from vociferous fan bases who would cheerfully barbecue an unwary director on internet hearsay. To his credit, he stayed with the project in spite of the money men at Universal wanting the movie aimed squarely at the PG rating demographic (in other words a Spy Kids clone). Maybe he should have run when he had the chance.

The youngsters who carry the movie are quite sensationally irritating - worst of all being Alan Tracy (Brady Corbet), who is the sort of teenager that makes you understand why tigers eat their young. He is so unthinking and tactless that I started to wonder if the Tracy gene pool was wearing a little thin by the time his parents got round to him. He has two sidekicks in the shape of Fermat (Soren Fulton) who is Brains` son, and Tintin (Vanessa Anne Hudgens), daughter of the Tracy Island housekeepers. Fermat is whiny and wimpy as you might expect from the influence of US jock-culture in spite of being the most intelligent of the juvenile trio. Incidentally, where does Alan get off treating Fermat like an obedient dog at the dining table when they arrive on Tracy Island? I`d have had Fermat go after him voluntarily, but having him whinge "but I`m not done..." and having to trot after Alan was demeaning. Tintin is the most mature of the three, although unfortunately she is a rather nondescript ingenue reminiscent of Alexa Vega in the Spy Kids trilogy.

The elder Tracy brothers and their father are pretty much cyphers in the adventure. After an initial rescue when we see them in action, they`re shuffled off to Thunderbird 5 to rescue John`s sorry ass, so we have little time to get the personalities and family dynamics that made the puppet show work. Jeff Tracy, the billionaire astronaut patriarch is played by former Apollo 13er Bill Paxton in full Texan flow. As one would expect he is too busy being the disciplinarian who expects his children to call him "Sir" (and possibly salute) when they`re trying to tell him somebody`s plastered radioactive tracking goo all over the nose of Thunderbird One.

Anthony Edwards (of ER fame) is no Brains. Whose bright idea was it to give him a child - and what happened to the mother? The one good thing about Brains and his boffinlet Fermat is that at least they have a better father-son relationship than Alan and his father.

The only time the movie brightens up is when Lady Penelope and Parker are on the screen. Sophia Myles as Lady Penelope is not quite as Chelsea-sassy as she should be, but that might have been the direction holding her back. Ron Cook`s Parker is magnificent, even h`if `e does dial back the Parkerisms for a modern audience. He looks right, he sounds right and he walks off with the movie with the line "Comin` through, Milady," in the process of trying to demolish uberthug Mullion (Deobia Oparei).

On the side of the bad guys are the aforementioned Mullion, whose raison d`etre is to be on the receiving end of a series of Home Alone style gags during the proceedings. Goofy-toothed techie-sidekick Transom (Rose Keegan) is woefully underused in the story, coming across as a modern day Joyce Grenfell with the hots for Brains. The only villain who works well is of course the faultless Sir Ben Kingsley playing The Hood behind a set of cats` eye contact lenses. He makes no attempt to do the Ray Barrett "someone weeel pay for theeese!" basso-profundo of the original series. The Bond producers ought to sign him up as the next baddie before that franchise disappears up its own ejector seat.

The machines have all benefitted from a CGI makeover and the special effects work really nicely within the constraints of the storyline. I`d have preferred to have seen something reminiscent of the 1968 John Wayne classic "Hellfighters" as the storyline - the handing on of the torch from one generation of Thunderbirds to another, with International Rescue a much bigger and less secretive organisation. And of course much bigger rescues and adventures than the disappointing decoy mission that starts the film.

If anything jars with me about the film more than anything else, it`s the amount of product-placement (and trademark forelock-tugging) towards the Ford Motor Company in the film. Judging from the promotional material I`ve seen, I`m surprised the film wasn`t interrupted every time FAB-1 - Lady Penelope`s ride - appeared on screen to show a slide reading "FORD and the FORD "oval" logo are registered trademarks of the Ford Motor Company and Universal Studios is a licensed user thereof". At least Ford was interested in a promotional tie-up with the film. When Universal went to Rolls-Royce with the idea of making FAB-1 a Roller as per the original, they got a "not interested" reply (which is part and parcel of why the UK doesn`t have a car industry any more).

All in all a disappointment for somebody who`s familiar with Gerry Anderson`s original series, but a competent and exciting outing for youngsters who don`t know their Fireflash from their Kyrano. It`s still less groan-inducing than the original "Thunderbirds Are Go" movie, though.

**The movie is dedicated to the memory of Stephen Lowen, a 28-year-old ex-para working as a rigger on the Pinewood sets. He received fatal injuries having fallen from scaffolding he was helping to dismantle.

Video

As you would expect a completely spotless transfer in anamorphic widescreen 1.85:1. Colours are bright (particularly the pinks), contrast and detail is excellent with no digital artefacts whatsoever. Framestore, the company behind the CGI work, proves itself to be up among the tops at doing that sort of thing with its renderings of Tracy Island and the Thunderbirds machines. While I`m not entirely sure about the re-imaginings of Thunderbirds 2 and 4, the other machines look pretty damn good in operation.

Audio

The sound is a lively Dolby Digital 5.1 mix that uses the entire soundstage. Effects frequently pop out of the back speakers to make you duck, and the low frequency response can be energetic at times.

Barry Gray`s magnificent theme is referenced but never properly quoted or utilised by Hans Zimmer`s score. Boy band Busted provides the inevitable soundtrack hook over the end titles in a cynical attempt to persuade young audience members to buy the "inspired by" cod-soundtrack while the actual score of the picture never sees the light of day in record stores.

Being a fan of Barry Gray`s Anderson scores, I miss the proper Thunderbirds March or the Fireflash jeopardy theme (also known as the Fast theme). Zimmer`s score is serviceable but plays like somebody who remembers the first bar of a tune and keeps humming it over and over. Why couldn`t he have done a David Arnold/ Propellorheads kind of job on the Barry Gray theme?

Features

The movie is backed by a happy package of short promotional puff-pieces by the Special Treats gang with titles like Creating The Action and Tracy Island Revealed. Best of these are the ones on Lady Penelope and Parker. One details the fight scene between Lady Penelope and Transom (and Parker and Mullion), a second goes over the new FAB-1 and a third examines Lady Penelope`s overwhelmingly pink wardrobe. Busted`s music video is included on the disc as well as a set-top-box game "The Hood vs Thunderbirds".

Jonathan Frakes contributes a less-than-enthralling director`s commentary consisting mostly of backslapping. There are full subtitles for the film and extras, and the package is rounded off with a set of coming attraction trailers for Shrek 2, Billy Elliot the Stage Musical, The Land Before Time 10 (!) and Balto: Wings of Change.

Conclusion

Well, there you have it - my two hundred and fiftieth review for DVDReviewer. I had hoped to do something a little more special but I was beaten to the punchline for the Star Wars Trilogy. Not that Thunderbirds 2004 isn`t deserving of consideration. It`s only sad old f*rts such as myself who would get worked up over this movie. The people the movie was aimed at - youngsters - will probably lap it up like the Spy Kids trilogy. I think I`ll put this picture in the "guilty pleasures" column. As an old Thunderbirdie (the Thunderbirds equivalent of a Trekkie) I could have made a better movie with my eyes shut, but it is at least entertaining.