Review of Attack Of The Joyful Goddess

Introduction

I`ve been dreading this. Quite recently, DVD Reviewer received a batch of old school Kung Fu titles from Soulblade Distribution that left a lot to be desired. I missed out on that batch, and when I read my colleagues` reviews, I chuckled, breathed a sigh of relief and expressed gratitude to my deity of choice that I didn`t have to spend time watching one of these discs. Karma`s a bitch, as a second batch turned up, and the luck of the draw saddled me with Attack Of The Joyful Goddess. Anyway, last night I stuck the disc in, crossed my fingers and hoped for a decent transfer. Next time I won`t waste my time on such a futile hope, and instead wish for peace in the Middle East within my lifetime.

Attack Of The Joyful Goddess a.k.a. Attack Of The God Of Joy tells of the mysterious events that occur when a theatre troupe get caught up in a web of murder and passion. A young girl invites the most ill of omens when she turns a spirit doll face up, and ends up possessed by that spirit. Meanwhile a powerful general is smitten with the lead actress of the troupe and will do anything to possess her, including threatening all the actors. But no one can foresee what mayhem will result from these developments.

Video

Let`s see the litany of complaints. Image quality and resolution that resembles a 2nd Generation VHS copy, complete with colour bleed and tape glitches, amateurishly panned and scanned so that the main characters and action remain off the edge of the screen, print damage throughout as well as consistent image shake, not to mention occasional digital artefacts and pixellation, all hint that not all is well with this transfer. Actually, I can`t think of anything right with this transfer.

Audio

DD 5.1 mono. A bloody horrendous dub, more a voiceover than a dub actually, which gave me the distinct impression that more than one main character voice was done by the same actor. There`s hiss, the dialogue is inaudible at times. It`s basically crap. No subtitles either.

Features

The usual anti piracy warnings are crystal clear. Why you would want to copy a disc that looks like a dodgy pirate disc anyway is beyond me. Extras on this disc include the UK promotional trailer, as well as a slideshow of DVD covers for other releases from this company. I would have given them points for chutzpah if they had dared to actually put the trailers for other discs on here.

Finally there is a 1-minute slideshow of stills and promotional material for the film, all of it with infinitely more clarity than the film itself. There is also a page of weblinks for the company.

Conclusion

Attack Of The Joyful Goddess is an essential disc… for resting your coffee on. Putting it in your player is an insult to consumer electronics. This, and its accompanying releases are from 55th Chamber, Soulblade`s new budget label. I got to watch this disc for the price of a couple of hours in front of the telly and a few hundred words of criticism, and I still feel ripped off. For a couple of minutes into the movie, I wondered if I could put a `so bad it`s good` label on the disc, when it had one of the classic kung fu moments of lips moving for ten seconds after a dubbing artist had finished his line. At that point I was thinking `Laughably Bad Presentation`. Unfortunately as the film progressed I was forced to drop the `Laughably` in favour of `Painfully`, then `Excruciatingly`, and then finally, `Aaaaaarrrrggghhhh!`

It`s unfortunate really, as while the story is just your usual supernatural Hong Kong hokum, some of the kung fu, and a lot of the Beijing Opera skills shown in this film would appeal to aficionados of old school kung fu. It`s just that this disc succeeds in obscuring all that behind an awful pan and scan transfer with the clarity of mud. If this film interests you, import. Do not even consider this disc, unless you want me to come round and give you a stern talking to. Don`t think I won`t.