Info and forum posts by 'ToiletDuck'

RE: RONALDO. The best in the World.

I agree that Christiano Ronaldo is probably the best player in the World at this time - Results and Goals going his way all the time at the moment and United, well they look imperious.

My only problem is with Paull, he`s not the best exponent of the game. I`m sorry you`re not.
In fact I feel you should be quiet for a bit and let ADULTS discuss the merits of this sport. It`s like arguing with a petulant child.

Paull & NoveltyCondomHead should make his way to the children`s play area and try to behave.

RE: RONALDO. The best in the World.

I have to say that he was fantastic against Villa on the weekend. I think that the whole team is a very compact fluid entity and that helps. I would like to see how he plays in the Europe for Portugal before I adorn him with saintly praise.

It really is great entertainment isn`t it?

RE: Civil Liberty Eroded by Fascist Dictators masquerading as Celebrity Politicians! Discuss........

They say two heads are better than one -

Maybe NoveltyCondomHead and KebabHead should sit down for a world summit.

RE: The DVDreviewer `roger mellies swearing dictionary` thread...

Quote:
`Toilet Duck` toy-let duk


I don`t know what you mean.

My Football Team is now sponsored by 888.com - Sweet!

No! it`s not Middlesborough!

A bunch of us created a team called HOLY MOUNT ZION - we play in Greater London League called the MSFL and in our first season we won the Division 5 title. This season the League in their wisdom has bumped us up 2 divisions. We are presently 2 for 2 in League 3.

To top this off - we worked tirelessly over the summer to get sponsorship for the club and finally we hit jackpot with 888.com. Amazingly they are sponsoring us (along with Middlesborough, Toulouse and Seville). In fact we`ve been invited to a shindig and all the top brass from the other sponsored clubs and ourselves have been invited. Hilarious.

Check the team out at...............

www.myspace.com/holymountzion

I`d love for you to sign up on myspace and support the team. If you also click the link and sign up (for free) to 888.com that will help the club greatly.

All new HMZ friends will be invited to the many parties we have throughout the year. We are after all a fledgling, Sunday League Club with more than an interest in the social aspect of the game.

Hope you like us.....
Mr.

No.88

RE: Premership: Who`s your team and how do you think they will do?

Watford

Top Ten Wigan Style and a run in the cup.

Duckula

RE: POLL: Next England Captain

Quote:
Care to explain exactly what the hell you mean by that??

You know there`s the one bloke that goes to the new kids and helps them with their game, invite all the players round to his house for a playstation tournemant, rouses the team at half-time when the chips are down -someone who`s earned the respect of his teammates and they revere him for his inclusivity.

When JT opens his mouth everyone listens. That`s what I meant.

I don`t believe Stevie G holds the same respect - don`t get me wrong, when the time comes he takes the game by the scruff of the neck and goes for it. But that`s only one moment, JT will be captain all day, every day! it`s about giving time for the team, JT has it, i`ve yet to see if Stevie G has it.

RE: POLL: Next England Captain

I think Terry has got to take the armband, in fact i`ve been saying for years. He`s passionate and savvy and knows how to rouse a team. Stevn Gerrard is also of the same character, but doesn`t hold a crowd like Mr. Jonathan Terrance.

Life is Rubbish - Discuss

Well it`s raining!

Arguements for and against please.......



PS - Glad to B back - Veiwers!

RE: Having a Christmas Dinner & Karaoke Party - where to find good DVD Karaoke??????

Quote:
Try http://www.singtotheworld.com/. I use them every year and you can even customise your own disks so it just has the songs you want.

Sweet! I`ve ordered 3 custom discs - nice! i`m going to have a karaoke party! yippee!

This item was edited on Monday, 28th November 2005, 16:12

RE: Things that currently annoy me

This damn flu/cold that seems to linger forever and has ruined 2 weekends!

Christmas Prezzie Lists..........

Here goes........

Mum (& Stepfather) - Tickets to West End Theatre Show (Billy Elliott)
Sister - a Handbag from ALDO (I know they make shoes!)
Dad - Tobacco and New Pipe
Best Friend - Deluxe Scrabble and Booze
Boss - Bottle of Jackie D`s (hope the ba**ard gets lashed and arrested)

Have you bought yours yet????

Pluck a Duck!

Ola! Ducksters!

Been away for a lonnnngggggg time! visited Peru! awesome place.

Glad to be back in dark,dank blighty. Nnnaaaaahhhh!

RE: What`s The Longest Someone Can Go Without Sleep?

When I was 19 I managed a 5 day stint with about 3 hours sleep over that whole period - i was backpacking round the states with a mad dutchman and he wouldn`t stay in hotels only outside - we managed to stay at the following accommodation -

1. A Field next to the Blue Ridge Mountains
with no sleeping bag or tent, we were acosted by drunk hicks and I got about an hours sleep.
2. The Capitol Building Grounds (Washington DC)
needless to say i didn`t sleep a wink.
3. Penn Station (New York)
needless to say i didn`t sleep a wink (although the crackhead next to me managed to pass out at some point during the night).

Then before i got on the flight back home I had to go shopping for my mum`s birthday prezzie - I was hallucinating by this point - got back to my friends apartment and got about an hour in before I had to leave.

To this day I don`t understand why I coudn`t sleep on the plane - but i got back to Heathrow, said hello to my Mum and passed-out in the back seat. That was Sunday afternoon, on Tuesday Morning I woke up in my bed with my bed clothes on and no recollection on how I got there or how I missed a whole day.

I`ve never been so disorientated in my whole life - however I`ve also never had a better sleep than that one - I felt like a million bucks.

RE: Some People want Shooting!

Thanks for the "COCK" quote - Charming!

I managed to get the 2 DVDs for free - but quite frankly i don`t even want to step foot in the place.

and yes - there was a counter in-bertween us when he grabbed my shirt, once I got him off, I stepped back and he jumped the counter. Nutter!

RE: Some People want Shooting!

Quote:
Toilet duck...
Three words...

Nasal hair trimmer...

Thanks, but no thanks - I cut the inside of my nose once and most people are that bothered by it. Plus it fits my exterior.

RE: Some People want Shooting!

First up, when yu`r out shopping and some loony strats a fight on a guy of my build, there must be something wrong and no matter who you are, you`d back off if some mentally disturbed moron flings himself over a counter at you.

As much as people might think we`re bruisers and love to fight - you couldn`t be more wrong. I hate fighting, i`m just big.

RE: Some People want Shooting!

actually my neck is hurting somewhat today - 10% mmmm!

RE: Some People want Shooting!

Before you ask - if I`d have knocked him out - I would be arrested and slung in jail - i`m a certified door person. That`s why I didn`t rise. This guy was a lunatic

RE: Some People want Shooting!

Quote:
Little young fella-me-lad

Er! I`m not exactly small, in fact i`m a bouncer - would U start on this?

This item was edited on Tuesday, 6th September 2005, 13:38

RE: Some People want Shooting!

No I don`t belong to Choices - usually I buy my DVDs (yes, i have previously purchased from this shop) - so Phil doesn`t have my name, address - personals.

Phil is a representative of Choices and if he`s stressed he has to tell them or not come into work. Choices didn`t apologise for his behaviour, in fact they were like "he fired, it`s all over now" - but there were a few things I had to say, like why didn`t the other member of staff in the back do anything about it? he/she must`ve heard everything! and Why hadn`t anybody done anything about him if this had happened before?

Choices decide who works for them, so that`s why i`m not going back.and I implore you not to go back either.

Some People want Shooting!

:¦
So I pop into a Choices Video Store to see if I can pick up some cheap ex-rentals on Sunday. I approach the guy behind the counter and ask him where the best deals are, he grunts and says over there, not pointing at anything in particular. I wander around the shop again, there seems to be no one area for ex-rentals, so I ask again, this time the bloke doesn`t even answer.

Finally I pick up two DVDs (The Yes Men and Taking Care of Business) and take them to the counter - The man then disappears for 15 minutes, all the while I can hear him complaining to someone " these Ffing customers and their weird DVDs". Anyway he gets back to the counter with both DVDs and barcodes in the first and then the second - and then like a scene out of Little Britain - "Computer Says No" - he says "I`m sorry it`s not in the computer, I can`t sell it to you" - bearing in mind that the disc has a price on it and there are 10 of the same disc in the ex-rental section I find this hard to believe.

So I tell him i`ve got a problem with this, he replies " can`t do anything about it, it`s not in the computer, nothin` I can do" , innocently I reply "actually i have a problem with your attitude" - In hindsight this was a bad mistake.....

The bloke grabs me by my collar and screams "I don`t give a F**k what you think", "You f**king people and your DVD Cr*p" - I release his hands from my clothing and ask for Head Offices number, he retorts "I don`t give a s**t about this job, do you think I give a S**T about this job, I have a new born daughter and she`s the most important thing in my life, not your f**king DVDs"

Of course I can`t help but ask him why he`s got such an attitude problem and does he think he would still have a job tomorrow - at which point he jumps the counter and as I back away to stop the guy from laying me out (he`s a big bloke, no hair with lots of tatoos), he throws his Choices Name Badge at me.

He then disappears back behind the counter into the back area somewhere. I stood there shell shocked for a minute - other customers standing near to me were like frightened rabbits caught in headlights. It was pretty scary.

I left and contacted Choices Head Office the moment I got home - answering machine.

The next day i get a phone call - Phil has admitted to everything, he was stressed out yesterday! OK! , "physical abuse, verbal abuse, threatening behaviour" i said " is that the service you wish to achieve", she replies "um! no, not really" - who are these people and what planet do they live on.

To cut a long story short, I wasn`t the only person to complain and Phil was fired! however I will never step foot in a Choices ever again and request that you don`t either.




PS - if anyone here works for Choices - sorry! but your firm sucks ass!

This item was edited on Tuesday, 6th September 2005, 11:57

RE: Blues Brothers 25th Anniversary Edition, Aug 30th 2005

Quote:
Use of unnecessary violence in the apprehension of the Blues Brothers HAS been approved

RE: My mates sister is in FHMs High Street Honeys!!!!!

The Softy Version of Reader`s Wives!

RE: Blues Brothers 25th Anniversary Edition, Aug 30th 2005

Quote:
Orange Whip, Orange Whip....Three Orange Whips!

RE: The Reviewer Football Thread

Quote:
if Chelsea keep playing like that they ain`t gonna win the league

What playing like s**t and still winning - that`s Premiership Champions Form that is! I don`t know, Wigan outclassed them the whole match - sucker punched!

Still my Chelsea mate nearly jumped 8 foot and screamed in my ear - I could have done without that, I had a terrible hangover.

This item was edited on Monday, 15th August 2005, 08:53

RE: Muppets Season 1 Region 1

http://muppets.go.com/main.html

Check out the Swedish Chef Game - Hilarious! Smackee da Snackee - go to map and them swedish chef.

This item was edited on Friday, 12th August 2005, 15:03

RE: Big Brother 2005

Thank the lord - this ridiculous excuse for a programme is finished for another year - we can now get back to a normal existence of Football, Lager and Sex.

RE: Muppets Season 1 Region 1

The Muppets are class!

Favourite Muppets got to be.........

The King of Cheesy Puns - Fozzy Bear
Mr. Mental Drummer - Anniimmaaaalllllllll!
Chicky in the Bucket - Swedish Chef

Oh! the joys! still I think i`m turning into Waldorf and Statler - That`s was awful!!!!

RE: Blues Brothers 25th Anniversary Edition, Aug 30th 2005

Quote:
It`s a 106 Miles to Chicago, we`ve got a full tank of Gas,Half a Pack of Cigarettes, It`s Dark and We`re Wearing Sunglasses......Hit It!

Love your Work!

I`ve got the extended version - to be honest there`s not much different - just the garage that gives the car flip power scene, more running around and dancing in prison and a few other bits and bobs.

It was already a classic film.

Quote:
Do You Have a Miss Piggy?

Cue Music........


Awesome film!



ps - does anyone else find these green links annoying?

This item was edited on Friday, 12th August 2005, 09:17