Page 1 of The 355

I was actually debating wether or not to write a review for this one as it's as formulaic as it is forgettable.

Bare-bones plot is someone creates a magic bit of tech that can allow a person or government access to anything they want, and it's up to a rag-tag bunch of experts in their field to get it back before it falls ino the wrong hands. 'Wrong' being in the eye of the beholder depending on who you work for. So far, so 'Sneakers (1992)'

Only these experts aren't white-hats, they're bunch of covert operatives from varying agencies who are forced to work together despite early friction for the greater good and end up being best buds. So far, so 'Man From U.N.C.L.E.(2015)'

The USP for this movie seems to be the all-female bunch of protagonists, Jessica Chastain, Diane Kruger, Lupita Nyongo, and penelope Cruz. There's also Bingbing Fan, who seems to have been given her script phonetically. She traied, but her oration is pretty distracting.

There's no suprises throughout the whole film. You know that despite trying to actively murder each other earlier in the film, the two main characters are going to end up working and bonding together. You know with a painful obviousness that someone who gets top billing..

SPOILER:
Doesn't actually die in the first 10 minutes. I mean, why bother even alluding to it when all the clips and promotionsl material gives away the 'spoiler' before you've even taken your seat'.
A lot is being said of the all-female cast, with every bad guy, literally being a  guy. It could be a figurehead for female empowerment but that's been done before many times and better. I really don't want to cite the 2016 mess that was the pathetic Ghostbusters remake as a plus, but the worst thing about that movie was everything except the casting & concept. The fact they were all women meant nothing to the terrible everything else and again, gender is never mentoned as a reason they shouldn't be trying to do the things they're doing.

But, it rattles along, things happen as expected, the movie ends. A twist happens I honestly didn't see coming, but its of such little consequence you find yourself not caring. By the end there's so much cliched posturing you'll be glad there aren't any post-credits scenes to endure. At least I wasn't aware of any, I got out of there as soon as the first title card came up.

Watch when available elsewhere, it's not really worth a trip out.

EDIT: I've just been reminded of another aspect stolen straight from another movie. Look out for a foot chase in an underground train tunnel, and tell me nearly every aspect wasn't lifted straight from the Jackal (Bruce Willis/Richard Gere movie that's NEVER off the iPlayer)

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Writer`s Release

This item was edited on Saturday, 15th January 2022, 19:18

Sorry but as soon as I saw 355 I was immediately drawn to one of these. The Gibson 355 in white. Always wanted one. They unfortunately cost thousands if you can find one.
Anyway wrong 355. I'll get my coat................ 


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