Page 1 of Bumper Stickers

A day without sunshine is like, night.

On the other hand, you have different fingers.

I feel like I`m diagonally parked in a parallel universe.

You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.

Honk if you love peace and quiet.

Remember half the people you know are below average.

Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

He who laughs last thinks slowest.

Borrow money from a pessimist - they don`t expect it back.

The only substitute for good manners is fast reflexes.

Support bacteria - they`re the only culture some people have.

When everything`s coming your way, you`re in the wrong lane and going the wrong way.

If at first you don`t succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

Experience is something you don`t get until just after you need it.

Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.

No one is listening until you make a mistake.

Success always occurs in private and failure in full view.

The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the ability to reach it.

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.

Love your enemies, it really confuses them.

If you can read this, i can slam my brakes on and sue you.