Page 1 of Parent who put their newborn`s name right on ebay gets burned!!

Saw this in another forum and thought it`s very cruel but also very funny.

Source http://www.closetelvis.com/NgladImNot.htm

Closet Elvis Wins Bid For Child`s Name
By Jason Rodriguez
7/29/2001


Jason Black and Frances Shroeder, a New York couple who decided to let the highest corporate bidder name their child, have a name for their expected son. Last week, they put the rights to their son`s giving name on eBay at an initial bid of 500,000 dollars. Closet Elvis Productions won the auction at a currently undisclosed price. But the boy`s name will not be Closet Elvis Black or CEP Black as the couple first assumed. Instead Closet Elvis President Jason Rodriguez decided to name the kid "Glad I`m Not." That`s right, the child`s name is going to be Glad I`m Not Black.

Jason and Frances are outraged at the move and are currently trying to void out the contract. "How can we let our son walk around the streets of New York City named Glad I`m Not Black? He will be a target for every African American citizen he encounters," says Jason Black.

Local African American community leaders are also outraged. Reverend Al Sharpton tells Closet Elvis, "This is a travesty; a supreme offense on the African American community." Sharpton is already organizing a protest to take place tomorrow in front of the Black`s residence. "Only in America will a couple name their child Glad I`m Not Black. I hope they enjoy the money they got off of this deal, because that child is in for a world of hurt"

Recent opinion polls show that 98% of Americans polled agrees that the child is indeed "in for a world of hurt." 1% of Americans polled believe that the child is not "in for a world of hurt". Another 1% believe that the child is "in for a world of hurt" and that they are going to be the ones to "bust his ass."

When asked to comment on the naming of Glad I`m Not Black, Closet Elvis Vice-President and Spokesperson Marcelo Illarmo told us, "With all the racial tension that we`re stirring up, I`m actually glad I`m not white…or that kid. Damn, he`s gonna get his ass busted."

Jason Rodriguez`s only comment was, "Ditto."

Surely, this can`t be real

Go here for the current one on ebay!

http://cgi.ebay.com/aw-cgi/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=1622201262

It is REAL! it just that the yanks are "different" to say the least, but at least they have a sense of humour!

a sense of humour....ha! as long as you dont mention vietnam

You mean like our sense of humour when they mention the War of Independence?

PS, looking at these sick puppies, they`re welcome to that hollow victory.

Land of the free? What freedom do these kids have?

This item was edited on Wednesday, 1st August 2001, 13:30

Brilliant I love it. Wish I`d thought of that.

I need to get me some kids..... come over `ere Shiela

p.s. the septics even spell "humor" differently.

There are some very funny stories on this site such as......



PC Performs Illegal Operation
4/29/2001
Raleigh, North Carolina---In a daring pre-dawn raid, FBI and ATF agents stormed the house of Roger Simpson`s computer, which was in the act of performing an illegal operation.

"This raid and arrest of Mr. Simpson`s personal computer has been the result of a year long investigation," explained FBI agent Tim Dathers. "We were aware of the computer`s illegal operations for over a year. In the past year, the personal computer was involved in over a thousand illegal operations"
According to sources within the FBI, the computer, alias Big Daddy, was actually the head of a very powerful crime syndicate (see graphic). Big Daddy`s illicit pursuits include but are not limited to racketeering, prostitution, and illegal drugs. Big Daddy also reportedly has strong ties with the Sami crime family in New York City.
"Man, that Big Daddy has his hands in some serious s***," said an inside source who wished to remain anonymous. "He had the drugs, the women, the numbers. And everybody knew not to mess with him, because he is a bad, bad man. Once some punks tried to take over the heroin racket and Big Daddy went nuts. He f***ing erased them. There is no record of their existence anymore. That`s some scary crap."
The raid mystified Big Daddy`s owner, Roger Simpson. "Look, man, all I know is I left my computer on overnight to defrag. The next thing I know there is tear gas and these storm troopers coming in with guns. My computer has done nothing wrong."
Dathers responded, "Perhaps that is what Mr. Simpson believes, but we have evidence to the contrary. In fact, we have transcripts between Mr. Simpson and DELL Tech Support discussing his problem with his computer performing `illegal operations`."
Transcript
Simpson: Hello, is this technical support?
Dell: Yes, sir, how can I help you?
Simpson: Yes, I`m having some problems with the computer I bought.
Dell: What kind of problems sir?
Simpson: Well, my computer crashes a lot. I`ll be running Internet Explorer or Real Audio Player when all of sudden this error screen will come on.
Dell: uhuh
Simpson: And it says, "performed an illegal operation" and then the whole damn thing seizes up.
Dell: Well, sir, that really isn`t a problem.
Simpson: It`s not?
Dell: No. Furthermore you should not discuss this with anyone. This never happened.
Simpson: But I lose my-
Dell: LOOK ASSHOLE, it`s your f***ing life, okay. If you want to p*** it away, keep on talking. IT NEVER HAPPENED. Remember that or face the consequences. Got it, s***head?
End of call.
Dathers noted how "sad" it was when innocent consumers are forced to comply with organized crime. He hopes that Simpson cooperates with the ongoing investigation.
Ex-FBI against Marshall Daniels noted that the investigation wouldn`t stop here. "Getting Big Daddy was a big coup for the agency, but they won`t stop there. This is part of a larger conspiracy. We`re traveling through uncharted waters.
Simpson`s lawyer released a statement stating that his client was very sorry for any trouble his computer may have cause unbeknownst to him. Also, Simpson wanted to note that all those jpgs on his computer were not his but were downloaded by his roommate. Stated Simpson, "I`m not into that stuff. Everyone who knows me knows that Roger Simpson is not a criminal nor a hardcore porn freak."