Page 1 of Phunny Phrases

Just heard a couple of never-heard-before phrases which I found hilarious....

1) David Speedie commenting on Chelsea`s Drogba: "....he couldn`t trap a dead rat in a phonebooth."

2) (source unknown): ...he could nutmeg Bella Emberg in a phonebooth with a beachball."

Both footie related I know but has anybody heard any lately that were quite side-splitting and imaginative, or any that they`ve come across that really racked the brains on how they make sense..e.g. "Its cold enough for two handbags"

"sweating like an Israeli bus driver" made me laugh recently. :o :D

Watch this space, or, if not THIS space, another one a lot like it.

Funniest one ive heard in a while came from my mate.

He`s always called his arse his hoop.

The other day we were driving down the road when he told me to watch my speed coz there was T5 "up my hoop". He also asked to borrow my "Lord of the Hoops" EE the other day.

Maybe it`s just me but i find that highly funny.

Regards
Bryan

We were watching the snooker a while back.. I think it was the semi between Ronnie O`Sullivan and Peter Ebdon, when Ronnie put his cue on the table excused himself and ran off for an `emergency break`.

I remarked to my missus that he probably had a bad case of the Bradleys.

Seeing the puzzled expression, I explained. She then could stop laughing for a full 10 minutes.

I also called someone a James Blunt the other day. I know this is all rhyming slang, but it is funny. :D

I get the James Blunt thing, but Bradleys?

Bryan

there was a "same sex wedding" celebration in my local - two ladies.

my mate opined "must prefer wilton to stilton..."

how I laughed.

Brad(ley) Pitt... rhyming slang???

Quote:
Brad(ley) Pitt... rhyming slang???

Yep.
;)

Ah, i see. *kicks myself for not getting that*

Regards
Bryan