Page 1 of Help! Need an opening line for my Groom speech on Saturday!

I need an opening line for my groom speech on Saturday. Currently working with "I`m speechless right now, which is a little inconvenient" but would really like something thats a little cheeky. Any ideas?

Do an elephant impression. Always go down well.

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We`re on a baby hunt and don`t think
we don`t know how to weeeeeed `em out.

How on earth does that work?

You turn the pockets of your trousers inside out for the ears and then undo your flies and pull out the trunk...

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We`re on a baby hunt and don`t think
we don`t know how to weeeeeed `em out.

A classic one I`ve heard a few times:
Quote:
This is the second time today I have stood up from a warm seat with a piece of paper in my hand...

Oh, and if I remember correctly you are perhaps not the tallest of people Bezza...its good to be self-deprecating.
Something along the lines of "yes I am standing up"...or making a point of getting a yellow pages to stand on. etc. etc.
People always warm to someone who`s willing to take the mick out of themselves first.

No offence intended by it, just trying to help with the humour! :D

"Build a man a fire, and he`ll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he`ll be warm for the rest of his life."
-Terry Pratchett.

This item was edited on Thursday, 10th July 2008, 10:09

I said `Thankyou....as you know...im a man of few words` and sat back down again.

Start off with pretending you`re finishing a conversation with someone without knowing the microphone was on, followed by a cough of embarassment, then it depends how risky you can go:

"...with enough sherry to last the entire journey"
"...so I gave her a pearl necklace"
"...she said spit on it, you`re tearing me"

UQ Web Design ¦ Offensive 101

"...but this one`s eating my popcorn."

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We`re on a baby hunt and don`t think
we don`t know how to weeeeeed `em out.

dont use the warm seat one.....I`ve heard it at every wedding i`ve been to ;)

Also you could say somet like `well i just have a few words to say` hold your paper up in front of you as if your just about to read it and let it unravel down to the floor and beyond.....:D

Quote:
Also you could say somet like `well i just have a few words to say` hold your paper up in front of you as if your just about to read it and let it unravel

And I`ve seen something like that at every wedding I`ve been to!

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We`re on a baby hunt and don`t think
we don`t know how to weeeeeed `em out.