Page 1 of Pretty sure ive just finished a 5 year relationship

Dont quite know why im posting this here, guess i just wanted some opinions, forgive the spelling, ive had a few. right. Been out tonight with my girlfriend her mate and two of my mates, didnt talk to my girlfriend too much (which isnt unsual) anyhow got back and she had a go about me buying Phonenix nights dvd, as im jobless at the moment, but my argument is my money whats it got to do with you??? i own my own place and am not short of money, and she has just quit here job to train as a hairdresser. dont know why that matters but thought id include it!! anyway what do you reckon, i know im not going to marry her as i dont want to get married anyway (im 26 btw shes 28) i dunno give me some advice ppl?

Best advice I can give is to sleep on it and see how you both feel in the morning.

The booze can be wicked sometimes! Good luck with whatever you do.

Yeah thanks i think its been building uo for a while though

Geezer,
Listen, i have had a few now. But what i can tell you is that I am 100% male. fearless, macho, with a stiff upper lip and a `True Brit.` I am reverered in my area and my reputation for all round strength is recognised.

But the love of someone who finally hurts you is gruelling, and I dont care how tough a person is.... getting your heart broken is crippling. Unlike broken limbs, for which I have had many. The heart is different.

But for as cliche as it sounds `time heals.` Stay true to yourself, never crawl and let nature take its course. 18 months on, I am stronger than ever and for me, fate took its course. I wish you well.

Take this with you.......
"The power of ACCURATE OBSERVATION is often mistaken for CYNISISM. By those who haven`t got it !"

K

Anyone who says they don`t want to get married in my opinion is devoid of commitment. If you don`t want to marry her, then finish with her and get over it.

If you do want to stay with her, slap some sense into her - train in hairdressing?! (I assume she hasn`t been working a dead end job) previously.

Regards,

James

Drink lots of stella, smoke many a biffta and watch the Big Lebowski - -its amazing how much this film makes you think..........and if that dont work, then buy a bowling ball, a rug that ties the room together and change ur name to somethink like richard branson and start referring to urself as the "dude"..............


On a serious note, ur asking a serious question at a time when most will prob b doing the above -- - -sleep on it and c how u feel in the morning.

CS

What ever happens try and stay mates. I am a couple of months on from a split now and we are now getting on better than ever. We now talk.

Good luck with what ever happens.

Smiller. You are talking out of your arse.

All the best,

The 42%er.

Don`t listen to smiler, he hasn`t even got a girlfriend atm. :)

Smiler you are indeed talking from your arse, marriages these days are nothing like they were 20 years ago - i`ve seen more people split in the last 4 years to put me off marriage for good.

Now i don`t want to offend anybody here, i am just airing my own personal views. Put simply marriages seem just like one big compromise and a lot of effort to keep going, with a lot of sacrifices in order to be happy - it`s almost like there`s a `marriage checklist` that you have to go through in order for it to go ahead; Joint bank account, condition that if he/she doesn`t like this, then tough, we`re having it anyway, one spending the others hard earned, there is no we, there is only ME....

My mother always maintains, "...£10,000 for one a day of happiness, a 2 week holiday, then 10 times that for a life of misery and a £40,000 divorce...". She`s harsh yes, but i can`t fault her logic.

For me, happiness is about just being happy in someones company, my girlfriend Teresa and i sat together on the sofa on tuesday night and didn`t utter a word for about 2 hours, but there was just a really nice feeling that told us both that `this is right`, and if you`ve got that spark and a good, healthy rapport going on, then great. You know it`s good when you still get that butterfly feeling in your belly when you`re going to meet them or you know they`re coming home from a long day - Teresa and i still get that now even after 2 years, cheesy as hell i know, but i wouldn`t be without her for anything, and we don`t have to get married to prove that.

I`m not saying marriages never work, but i`ve seen too many of my close friends and family end up in heartbreak. Things were absolutely fine before the big day, then all the bits that go with getting married just wore themselves in and they all drifted apart - and it sucks.

To those who have happy marriages, good for you, this is not aimed at you, but for those who believe that marriage is the natural course of true love, you`re totally wrong. If you can live with someone and enjoy their company, but without all the horrid nasties like the joint bank account, arguments over decor, (if you`re compatible then there`s never gonna be a problem over waht colours the walls are!), how much money you`re spending etc, then that` the biggest commitment you can give to each other.

Geezer, think hard and discuss what there is that is still good in your relationship, if it`s gone and either one of you feels that deep down your heart isn`t in it to work at it, then say your goodbyes and leave it at that. If you`re meant to be friends then you will be, but some people find it hard to be mates after a split.

Good luck fella, stand firm!

Westy

lol Phoenix Nights. Good man.

Gotta love Peter Kaye!