Page 1 of Whats the stupidest thing anybody has ever said???

Anyone who reads FHM regularly will be aware of the `Out the mouths of babes` bit where readers send in examples of some of the stupid things women say.

For example i was watching the Real Madrid/ Manu Champions League match recently and my Mrs phoned me. She asked me what i was doing. I told her i was watching the football - her response:

"....but its dark outside? How do they play football in the dark???"

Absolute Classic.

Was just wondering if any of you guys had any similar experiences??

Neil

This item was edited on Tuesday, 6th May 2003, 13:19

Unfortunately my missus is more intelligent than me and hilarious slip ups rarely happen!..Damn it!

I`ve broadened this out to include males as well - we do have female visitors, after all, and let`s face it, us geezers are prize masters in saying stupid things.

Eg

Me : "How old are you ?"
Girl : "25"
Me : "Have you got any brothers or sisters ?"
Girl : "I`ve got a twin sister."
Me : "And how old is she ?"

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Clayts
Moderator
DVD Reviewer

I remember one famous (female) interviewer once asked The Corrs, "So how did you all meet?". Brilliant.

I have posted a couple under another topic but here is one fresh from the horses mouth , or some other orifice on a horses body as my wife would testify.
My good lady and I were in the Howgate mall in Falkirk and on the escalator going down to the car I turned around quite innocently and exclaimed ,
"Christ I can smell a Chinky"
I was immediately loudly berated by my good lady who told me to turn around.
I duly did so and saw a chinese bloke on the other escalator passing us on the way up.
The words Earth,Swallow,Open me etc spring to mind.
Choagy :-)

A few years back one of my mates telephoned his friend at home to see if he was interested in a lads night out. After exchanging greetings he was heard saying "So where are you now then?".

It even took a few minutes for it to sink in when we explained to him that his friend must have been at home `cause that was the number he rung.

From that day on he was known as `Trigger`.

This item was edited on Tuesday, 6th May 2003, 13:53

One day in work someone said to the supervisor can we have the radio on
The supervisor said no because wev`e got an audit
Then the other person said I`ll hide the radio so they can`t see it

i have a friend who is an idiot.. while were at school doing GCSE`s .. he was in the year above us and was deemed of so little intelligence that CSE`s were beyond him.. He studied what was called a 365 certificate.

this involved mainly PE.. and maths trips to the beach where they would count pebbles..

anyway... Whilst in a takeway / kebab/ pizza shop late at night.. he asked for a burger... the bloke behind the counter asked him (in a indian accent).. "Do you want salt on your burger?" my mate turned to me and said "haggis? do i want sanga bunga?.. what`s sanga bunga?" funny enough in its self .. what happened next was the icing on the kebab... he leaned forwar onto the glass counter and said.. "nah mate.. nee sanga bunga" and fell through the glass counter into the salad and raw chicken..

i still wonder today what he actually thought sanga bunga was

In history, my mate once asked "Where do the Mongols come from?". Genius

Has to be after I wrote a GCSE Geography essay whilst watching Magnum Force, in every reference to Magma (as in volcanic lava) I referred to it as Magnum